{"id":10632,"date":"2024-09-09T15:38:50","date_gmt":"2024-09-09T22:38:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cttbchinese.org\/fayubinfen\/?p=10632"},"modified":"2024-09-09T15:38:50","modified_gmt":"2024-09-09T22:38:50","slug":"%e6%88%91%e5%9c%a8%e8%90%ac%e4%bd%9b%e8%81%96%e5%9f%8e%e9%81%87%e8%a6%8b%e7%9c%9f%e6%ad%a3%e7%9a%84%e8%80%81%e5%b8%ab","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.cttbchinese.org\/fayubinfen\/?p=10632","title":{"rendered":"\u6211\u5728\u842c\u4f5b\u8056\u57ce\u9047\u898b\u771f\u6b63\u7684\u8001\u5e2b"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

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Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Venerable Master, Dharma Masters, all Dharma Friends. Amitofo. My name is Grace Woo, Dharma name Qin Kai. I’m honored to be here, from Southern California, to share my reflection on my stay at CTTB last month.
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<\/p>\n\n\n

This past July, I spent three weeks at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas, participating in the Bodhisattva Precepts, Forty-two Hands Transmission, and the Guan Yin Session. I\u2019ve been to CTTB a number of times, but this was the longest I\u2019ve stayed. I thought I knew what to expect, but I soon discovered that this time would be different.
\u5728\u525b\u904e\u53bb\u7684\u4e03\u6708\uff0c\u6211\u5728\u842c\u4f5b\u8056\u57ce\u5ea6\u904e\u4e86\u4e09\u9031\uff0c\u53c3\u52a0\u4e86\u83e9\u85a9\u6212\u3001\u56db\u5341\u4e8c\u624b\u773c\u50b3\u6388\u4ee5\u53ca\u89c0\u97f3\u6cd5\u6703\u3002<\/strong>  <\/strong>\u6211\u4ee5\u524d\u4f86\u904e\u842c\u4f5b\u8056\u57ce\u5f88\u591a\u6b21\uff0c\u4f46\u9019\u662f\u6211\u505c\u7559\u6700\u4e45\u7684\u4e00\u6b21\u3002\u6211\u4ee5\u70ba\u6211\u5df2\u7d93\u77e5\u9053\u6703\u767c\u751f\u4ec0\u9ebc\uff0c\u4f46\u5f88\u5feb\u6211\u767c\u73fe\u9019\u6b21\u5c07\u6703\u6709\u6240\u4e0d\u540c\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let me give you a bit of background about myself. I grew up in Hong Kong when it was still a British colony. From kindergarten onwards, the education I received was mostly in English. All the textbooks we used are in English with the exception of Chinese Language and Chinese History. This upbringing made me look down on certain aspects of Chinese culture and traditions. When I was younger, I actually believed that Western culture and the way of life were better, superior.
\u8b93\u6211\u7a0d\u5fae\u4ecb\u7d39\u4e00\u4e0b\u6211\u7684\u80cc\u666f\u3002\u6211\u5728\u9999\u6e2f\u9577\u5927\uff0c\u90a3\u6642\u9084\u662f\u82f1\u570b\u6b96\u6c11\u5730\u3002<\/strong>\u5f9e\u5e7c\u5152\u5712\u958b\u59cb\uff0c\u6211\u6240\u63a5\u53d7\u7684\u6559\u80b2\u5927\u591a\u662f\u82f1\u8a9e\u7684\uff0c\u9664\u4e86\u4e2d\u6587\u548c\u4e2d\u570b\u6b77\u53f2\u8ab2\u672c\uff0c\u5176\u4ed6\u8ab2\u672c\u90fd\u662f\u82f1\u6587\u7684\u3002\u9019\u7a2e\u6210\u9577\u80cc\u666f\u8b93\u6211\u5c0d\u67d0\u4e9b\u4e2d\u570b\u6587\u5316\u548c\u50b3\u7d71\u611f\u5230\u8f15\u8996\u3002\u7576\u6211\u5e74\u8f15\u6642\uff0c\u6211\u751a\u81f3\u8a8d\u70ba\u897f\u65b9\u6587\u5316\u548c\u751f\u6d3b\u65b9\u5f0f\u66f4\u597d\u3001\u66f4\u512a\u8d8a\u3002<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I came to CTTB the first time in 2018, and I immediately felt like I had found my true home. I remember I was at a Guan Yin Session, and I was crying every time we sang the Guan Yin Praise. A thought kept coming to my mind, “I have wasted so much time running around. What has taken me so long to come back here!” However, I also found CTTB to be very Chinese in some ways. That brought back a lot of my old, not-so-pleasant feelings about Chinese culture. Despite these feelings, I kept coming. I felt drawn by something deeper that I couldn\u2019t quite explain.
\u6211\u7b2c\u4e00\u6b21\u4f86\u842c\u4f5b\u8056\u57ce\u662f\u5728<\/strong>2018<\/strong>\u5e74\uff0c\u90a3\u6642\u6211\u7acb\u5373\u611f\u89ba\u627e\u5230\u4e86\u771f\u6b63\u7684\u5bb6\u3002<\/strong>\u6211\u8a18\u5f97\u90a3\u662f\u5728\u4e00\u6b21\u89c0\u97f3\u6cd5\u6703\u4e0a\uff0c\u6bcf\u7576\u5531\u5230\u89c0\u97f3\u8b9a\u6642\uff0c\u6211\u7e3d\u662f\u54ed\u6ce3\u3002\u4e00\u500b\u5ff5\u982d\u4e0d\u65b7\u6d6e\u73fe\u5728\u6211\u8166\u6d77\u88e1\uff1a\u300c\u6211\u6d6a\u8cbb\u4e86\u9019\u9ebc\u591a\u6642\u9593\u56db\u8655\u5954\u6ce2\u3002\u70ba\u4ec0\u9ebc\u6211\u82b1\u4e86\u9019\u9ebc\u9577\u7684\u6642\u9593\u624d\u56de\u5230\u9019\u88e1\uff1f\u300d\u7136\u800c\uff0c\u6211\u4e5f\u767c\u73fe\u842c\u4f5b\u8056\u57ce\u5728\u67d0\u4e9b\u65b9\u9762\u975e\u5e38<\/strong>  <\/strong>\u4e2d\u570b\u5316\uff0c\u9019\u8b93\u6211\u60f3\u8d77\u4e86\u5f88\u591a\u904e\u53bb\u5c0d\u4e2d\u570b\u6587\u5316\u4e0d\u592a\u6109\u5feb\u7684\u611f\u53d7\u3002\u5118\u7ba1\u6709\u9019\u4e9b\u611f\u53d7\uff0c\u6211\u4ecd\u7136\u7e7c\u7e8c\u4f86\u3002\u6211\u611f\u89ba\u6709\u67d0\u7a2e\u66f4\u6df1\u7684\u6771\u897f\u5438\u5f15\u8457\u6211\uff0c\u4f46\u6211\u7121\u6cd5\u5b8c\u5168\u89e3\u91cb\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This time, when I arrived at CTTB, I was assigned to a room with four other women. They were all from Mainland China. I found them to be very sincere practitioners, and I’m so glad to share this journey with them. But soon, I started to feel a bit uncomfortable. My roommates seemed to have an unspoken agreement to leave the room for every session together, often 30 minutes ahead of the start time. I, on the other hand, really wanted to use every minute to rest as I could barely sleep given the intense heat of the week of over 110\u00b0F. The room was literally like an oven!
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I found myself silently going against this routine. When they were getting ready to leave and put on their HaiQin, I would move really slowly, find excuses to delay, or simply go to the restroom. I also noticed that I had this attitude that being at CTTB meant I had the right to be silent. But my roommates really loved to talk. Besides sharing their daily experiences, they would also say things like “Oh, I’m going to take a shower” or “Oh, I’m going for dinner” every time they left the room. I would come and go in silence.
\u6211\u767c\u73fe\u81ea\u5df1\u5728\u9ed8\u9ed8\u5730\u9055\u80cc\u9019\u500b\u7fd2\u6163\u3002\u5979\u5011\u6e96\u5099\u51fa\u9580\uff0c\u7a7f\u4e0a\u6d77\u9752\u6642\uff0c\u6211\u6703\u6545\u610f\u52d5\u4f5c\u5f88\u6162\uff0c\u627e\u85c9\u53e3<\/strong>  <\/strong>\u62d6\u5ef6\uff0c\u6216\u8005\u4e7e\u8106\u53bb\u6d17\u624b\u9593\u3002\u6211\u4e5f\u610f\u8b58\u5230\u6211\u6709\u4e00\u7a2e\u614b\u5ea6\uff0c\u89ba\u5f97\u5728\u842c\u4f5b\u8056\u57ce\u5c31\u61c9\u8a72\u6709\u6b0a\u4fdd\u6301\u6c89\u9ed8\u3002<\/strong>  <\/strong>\u800c\u6211\u7684\u5ba4\u53cb\u5011\u537b\u975e\u5e38\u559c\u6b61\u4ea4\u8ac7\u3002\u9664\u4e86\u5206\u4eab\u5979\u5011\u7684\u65e5\u5e38\u7d93\u6b77\u5916\uff0c\u6bcf\u6b21\u5979\u5011\u96e2\u958b\u623f\u9593\u6642\uff0c\u7e3d\u6703\u8aaa\u4e9b\u50cf\u300c\u54e6\uff0c\u6211\u8981\u53bb\u6d17\u6fa1\u4e86\u300d\u6216\u300c\u54e6\uff0c\u6211\u8981\u53bb\u5403\u98ef\u4e86\u300d\u9019\u6a23\u7684\u8a71\u3002\u800c\u6211\u5247\u662f\u4f86\u53bb\u7121\u8072\u3002<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even more intriguing to me was that in their eyes, everything at CTTB was super special. They saw miracles everywhere and every day\u2014they showed me the pictures they took of clouds, the text messages from Dharma Masters, and even the simple act of doing the Universal bowing in the Buddha Hall. Meanwhile, I saw the same things I had always seen\u2014it\u2019s the sky, there are buildings, and there are people walking around.
\u66f4\u4ee4\u6211\u9a5a\u8a1d\u7684\u662f\uff0c\u5728\u5979\u5011\u773c\u4e2d\uff0c\u842c\u4f5b\u8056\u57ce\u7684\u4e00\u5207\u90fd\u975e\u5e38\u7279\u5225\u3002<\/strong>\u5979\u5011\u6bcf\u5929\u90fd\u770b\u5230\u5947\u8e5f\uff0c\u6703\u7d66\u6211\u770b<\/strong>  <\/strong>\u5979\u5011\u62cd\u7684\u96f2\u6735\u7167\u7247\uff0c\u6cd5\u5e2b\u767c\u4f86\u7684\u8a0a\u606f\uff0c\u751a\u81f3\u662f\u5728\u4f5b\u6bbf\u88e1\u505a<\/s>\u666e\u4f5b\u9019\u6a23\u7c21\u55ae\u7684\u884c\u52d5\u3002\u800c\u6211\u5462\uff0c\u53ea\u662f<\/strong>  <\/strong>\u770b\u5230\u4e86\u4e00\u5982\u65e2\u5f80\u7684\u6771\u897f\u2014\u2014\u5929\u662f\u5929\uff0c\u6a13\u662f\u6a13\uff0c\u4eba\u662f\u4eba\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

After a week of this, I felt like I was running out of options. I went to the Buddha Hall and grabbed a \u201cNo Talking\u201d badge, feeling desperate for my own space. At first, it felt strange\u2014almost like I was imposing this on my roommates. I saw that they were trying hard to accommodate me. But I also realized that this space was exactly what I needed to step back and observe what was really going on, rather than falling into my old habits and stories about what I didn\u2019t like about Chinese culture.
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Just to give you an example of how I fall into my old habits and stories about what I don’t like about Chinese culture. For example, in the beginning, the Dharma Masters were quite strict. They reminded me of being a child back in school. They said, “Be quiet! This is not a wet market!” “Look at how you guys are walking. How can you be a bodhisattva if you walk like that?” I was aware that I didn\u2019t like this way of talking because of how I was brought up, not because of the Dharma Masters themselves, but I was still left with this doubt in my heart. “Does it really need to be communicated in this way?”
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As I observed more, I noticed that for my roommates, this was their first or second time at CTTB. Everything was new to them. They were far away from home, trying to navigate the routines of the temple, like finding wi-fi to report back to their families that they were okay. And this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for them. They went through a lot to get to CTTB. From getting through the application process, to securing the visa, not to mention traveling from China to CTTB took over 24 hours. For me, it’s so easy. It’s just a one-hour flight away.
\u96a8\u8457\u6211\u89c0\u5bdf\u5f97\u66f4\u591a\uff0c\u6211\u6ce8\u610f\u5230\uff0c\u5c0d\u6211\u7684\u5ba4\u53cb\u4f86\u8aaa\uff0c\u9019\u662f\u5979\u5011\u7b2c\u4e00\u6b21\u6216\u7b2c\u4e8c\u6b21\u4f86\u842c\u4f5b\u8056\u57ce\u3002\u5c0d\u5979\u5011\u4f86\u8aaa\uff0c\u4e00\u5207\u90fd\u662f\u65b0\u7684\u3002<\/strong>\u5979\u5011\u9060\u96e2\u5bb6\u9109\uff0c\u52aa\u529b\u9069\u61c9\u5bfa\u5edf\u7684\u751f\u6d3b\uff0c\u6bd4\u5982\u627e\u5230\u7121\u7dda\u9ad8\u901f\u4e0a\u7db2Wi-Fi\u5411\u5bb6\u4eba\u5831\u5e73\u5b89\u3002<\/strong>  <\/strong>\u5c0d\u5979\u5011\u4f86\u8aaa\uff0c\u9019\u662f\u4e00\u6b21\u5343\u8f09\u96e3\u9022\u7684\u6a5f\u6703\u3002\u5979\u5011\u7d93\u6b77\u4e86\u5f88\u591a\u624d\u4f86\u5230\u842c\u4f5b\u8056\u57ce\uff0c\u5f9e\u7533\u8acb\u904e\u7a0b\u5230\u7372\u5f97\u7f8e\u570b\u7c3d\u8b49\uff0c\u66f4\u4e0d\u7528\u8aaa\u5f9e\u4e2d\u570b\u5230\u842c\u4f5b\u8056\u57ce\u7684\u65c5\u7a0b\u82b1\u4e86\u8d85\u904e24\u5c0f\u6642\u3002\u800c\u5c0d\u6211\u4f86\u8aaa\uff0c\u9019\u662f\u5982\u6b64\u5bb9\u6613\uff0c<\/strong> <\/strong>\u50c5\u50c5\u4e00\u500b\u5c0f\u6642\u7684\u98db\u884c\u5c31\u80fd\u5230\u9054\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I realized that their talking, their need to leave the room together, was their way of grounding themselves in this unfamiliar environment.
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I started to feel a bit bad that it wasn\u2019t so much that I wanted to be quiet, but more that I had this sense that being silent somehow meant I was a better practitioner. I asked myself, if I\u2019m here so often, why can’t I be a better host and make them feel comfortable and at home instead of forcing them to make me comfortable in a place I\u2019m already familiar with?
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I also started to see why the Dharma Masters seem to be so strict with us. After the Bodhisattva precepts ceremony, the men were told to take a 15-minute break and reconvene in front of the Dining Hall for a group photo. However, we women were told to start lining up and walk over to the Dining Hall. The thought that crossed my mind was: that’s unfair!!
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Fifteen minutes later, I was standing outside the Dining Hall, and oh, the women were barely ready for group photos. We were still moving around trying to find the right spot. On the other hand, the men were all ready. I suddenly realized the wisdom of the Dharma Master. They are not trying to be strict because that’s how Chinese culture works. Their instruction is rooted in wisdom. We women love to talk, and we often forget to keep track of time where we are: in the bathroom, in the corridor.
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As the days went by, I began to see my roommates not just as fellow participants but as my teachers. Their devotion and joy in being at CTTB, despite the challenges, inspired me. They often went to bow to the statue of Master Hua when they had any questions. So the day before I was about to take the Bodhisattva Precepts, my mind was full of doubt. Can I really keep these precepts? But seeing my roommates\u2019 vigor and determination kept me going. I followed their lead, bowing to Venerable Master Hua: “Shifu, should I take the precepts? I don\u2019t know if I can keep them. Maybe I should go home. What should I do?” And I received the message I needed from Shifu: “Don\u2019t be stupid!!”
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This experience taught me that CTTB is not just a temple\u2014it\u2019s a pure land. But not in the way I had imagined. I used to think of a pure land as a kind of Christian heaven, where everything is comfortable and easy. But I realized that a pure land is a place where everything\u2014every person, every object, every encounter\u2014is teaching the Dharma. And that can be uncomfortable because it challenges my attachment to my ego and all the habits that I have.
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During the last week of my stay at the Guan Yin Session, I experienced many magical moments which I won\u2019t have time to cover today. But what\u2019s most important is that without my roommates\u2019 guidance, I wouldn\u2019t have been able to open my heart and mind to these experiences. For that, I am deeply grateful. Thank you. Amitofo!
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