{"id":10690,"date":"2024-11-21T14:08:35","date_gmt":"2024-11-21T22:08:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cttbchinese.org\/fayubinfen\/?p=10690"},"modified":"2024-11-21T14:08:35","modified_gmt":"2024-11-21T22:08:35","slug":"%e8%b5%b0%e5%90%91%e4%bd%9b%e6%b3%95%e7%9a%84%e6%97%85%e7%a8%8b","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.cttbchinese.org\/fayubinfen\/?p=10690","title":{"rendered":"\u8d70\u5411\u4f5b\u6cd5\u7684\u65c5\u7a0b"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

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All Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, Venerable Master, Dharma Masters and Dharma friends, Amituofo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u8af8\u4f5b\u83e9\u85a9\u3001\u4e0a\u4eba\u3001\u5404\u4f4d\u6cd5\u5e2b\u3001\u5404\u4f4d\u4f5b\u53cb\uff0c\u963f\u5f4c\u9640\u4f5b\uff01<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My name is Sophie Huang. My Dharma name is Qin Yuan. I came from China and have lived in the US for over 14 years. In March this year I took the 5 precepts in CTTB, because I finally consider myself a buddhist after two years of study in DRBU. But my journey to the Dharma was much longer than two years. In fact, it took me 40 years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/p>\n\n\n

I was born and raised in China. As far as I know, no one in my family is a buddhist. My initial impression about Buddhism was very superficial and largely influenced by traditional Chinese culture. I\u2019ve always known that the Buddha was good and kind, and I had a lot of respect for him, but I never thought I would study the Dharma and become a buddhist myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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My earliest encounter of the Buddha – if you can call it an encounter – happened when I was about 10 years old. It was during a summer break and I was in my hometown – Luoyang, where I was born and lived for 10 years. I remember writing in my summer diary one day, about finding a small Buddha statue in the field. I brought it home and washed it clean. And then I put my palms together and bowed to it. I might have said Amituofo as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Nobody taught me to do that. I just intuitively knew it was a good thing to do. To be honest, I don\u2019t even remember if this event actually happened. I only vaguely remember writing about it in my diary. Now, I\u2019d like to think of this seemingly insignificant event as a seed that I planted in the past, which finally brought me to the Dharma some 30 years later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Over the 30 years, it seems that I never stopped my own quest. I like the word \u201cquest\u201d because it sums up my life or at least a large portion of it. Ever since I was a teenager, I\u2019ve been on a quest for something, though this thing changed over time. Oftentimes I didn\u2019t even know what I was questing for at the moment, and would only see it later by looking back at life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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From what I learned in DRBU, Shakyamuni Buddha himself was one who never stopped his quest either. The Buddha\u2019s quest for peace and enlightenment started with his realization that there is suffering, and seeing it as it really is. Not desiring suffering for himself and others, he went on the quest for peace and enlightenment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u6211\u5728\u6cd5\u5927\u7684\u8ab2\u7a0b\u88cf\u5b78\u5230\uff0c\u91cb\u8fe6\u725f\u5c3c\u4f5b\u672c\u4eba\u4e5f\u5f9e\u672a\u505c\u6b62\u904e\u4ed6\u7684\u63a2\u7d22\u3002\u4f5b\u5c0d\u65bc\u5b89\u5be7\u548c\u958b\u609f\u7684\u63a2\u7d22\u59cb\u65bc\u4ed6\u8a8d\u8b58\u5230\u4eba\u9593\u6709\u82e6\u7684\u5b58\u5728, \u4e26\u4e14\u771f\u6b63\u770b\u6e05\u695a\u4e86\u82e6\u7684\u771f\u9762\u76ee\u3002\u4ed6\u4e0d\u60f3\u8981\u81ea\u5df1\u548c\u5225\u4eba\u90fd\u53d7\u9019\u4e9b\u82e6\uff0c\u65bc\u662f\u8d70\u4e0a\u4e86\u5c0d\u65bc\u5b89\u5be7\u548c\u958b\u609f\u7684\u63a2\u7d22\u4e4b\u8def\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like the Buddha, one cannot understand suffering until one truly sees it for what it is, realizes what it really means to suffer and how it feels viscerally. My quest for peace and the path to cultivation only started after I experienced and realized what it really means and feels to suffer. One such realization happened in July 2022, when I was at the Guan Yin retreat in Buddha Root Farm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The day was hot and I didn\u2019t sleep well the night before, because my tent was wet and I was cold all night. I woke up feeling miserable and grumpy. During the walking recitation I complained about everything in my mind: the woods were a terrible place to camp; the tent I used was not good enough; the sleeping mat I bought was not the right kind; I\u2019m not a camper and I shouldn’t have gone to the retreat; what was I doing with my life\u2026and on and on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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In the midst of this mental storm, all of a sudden I caught myself and it occurred to me: this is suffering; this is what it means to suffer! I thought to myself: \u201cThis suffering is horrible and I really don\u2019t want it. But how do I get rid of it?\u201d Then I realized, that is the reason we recite Guan Yin\u2019s name – to lead our mind away from suffering! So I calmed my mind and continued the recitation with more determination.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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My first realization of suffering, however, happened about 9 years ago. In P\u0101li Sutta, the Buddha said to a householder who lost his only son: \u201cSorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are born from those who are dear, arise from those who are dear.\u201d This deeply resonated with me, because it was through the death of someone who was dearest to me, my father, that I finally saw the truth of suffering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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You see, ever since I was little I\u2019ve had a strong attachment to my father. He was my hero, my idol. All I ever wanted was to make him proud and to spend more time with him. But it was impossible because he was a busy man, and because he wasn\u2019t happy in his marriage with my mother, he kept away from my mother, my brother, and me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u8981\u77e5\u9053\uff0c\u6211\u5f9e\u5c0f\u5c31\u975e\u5e38\u4f9d\u6200\u6211\u7684\u7236\u89aa\u3002\u4ed6\u5728\u6211\u5fc3\u88e1\u5982\u540c\u4e00\u500b\u82f1\u96c4\u3001\u4e00\u4f4d\u5076\u50cf\u3002\u6211\u4e00\u76f4\u60f3\u8981\u7684\u90fd\u662f\u8b93\u4ed6\u70ba\u6211\u9a55\u50b2\uff0c\u548c\u4ed6\u82b1\u66f4\u591a\u7684\u6642\u9593\u5728\u4e00\u8d77\u3002\u4f46\u9019\u662f\u4e0d\u53ef\u80fd\u7684\uff0c\u56e0\u70ba\u4ed6\u662f\u500b\u5927\u5fd9\u4eba\uff0c\u4e5f\u56e0\u70ba\u4ed6\u548c\u6211\u7684\u6bcd\u89aa\u5a5a\u59fb\u4e0d\u6109\u5feb\uff0c\u9019\u8b93\u4ed6\u7e3d\u662f\u96e2\u6211\u6bcd\u89aa\u3001\u6211\u3001\u9084\u6709\u6211\u5f1f\u5f1f\u90fd\u9060\u9060\u7684\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The irony is, the less time I got to spend with my father the more I wanted it. So I became obsessed with it. I would run memories with him in my head over and over again like a video tape. I would daydream about ways to make him proud and then he would love me. And I would fantasize about him getting old and I would care for him, and then I\u2019ll get to spend all the time I want with him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u53ef\u7b11\u7684\u662f\uff0c\u548c\u7236\u89aa\u76f8\u8655\u7684\u6642\u9593\u8d8a\u5c11\u6211\u7684\u6e34\u671b\u5c31\u8d8a\u591a\u3002\u6211\u8b8a\u5f97\u7661\u8ff7\u8d77\u4f86\uff0c\u6703\u5728\u8166\u5b50\u88e1\u4e0d\u65b7\u56de\u60f3\u548c\u4ed6\u4e00\u8d77\u7684\u6642\u5149\uff0c\u50cf\u770b\u9304\u5f71\u5e36\u4e00\u6a23\u3002\u6211\u6703\u505a\u767d\u65e5\u5922\u4e00\u6a23\u5730\u60f3\u8457\u5982\u4f55\u8b93\u4ed6\u70ba\u6211\u9a55\u50b2\uff0c\u9019\u6a23\u4ed6\u5c31\u6703\u611b\u6211\u3002\u6211\u4e5f\u5e7b\u60f3\u8457\u7b49\u4ed6\u8001\u4e86\u6211\u8981\u7167\u9867\u4ed6\uff0c\u90a3\u6a23\u6211\u60f3\u82b1\u591a\u5c11\u6642\u9593\u548c\u4ed6\u5728\u4e00\u8d77\u5c31\u80fd\u82b1\u591a\u5c11\u6642\u9593\u548c\u4ed6\u5728\u4e00\u8d77\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

All these dreams and hopes were shattered when he passed away 9 years ago. In fact my whole world collapsed. For half a year after his passing, I cried almost everyday. I started to question everything in my life, my work, my relationships, and all my big decisions. Little by little I fell apart, and my relationships soon followed. Then everything lost its meaning and I couldn\u2019t feel any joy in life. By the time I realized this was suffering, I was deep in severe depression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u7136\u800c9\u5e74\u524d\u4ed6\u96e2\u4e16\u7684\u6642\u5019\uff0c\u6211\u6240\u6709\u7684\u5922\u60f3\u548c\u5e0c\u671b\u90fd\u88ab\u7c89\u788e\u4e86\u3002\u6211\u7684\u6574\u500b\u4e16\u754c\u90fd\u5d29\u584c\u4e86\u3002\u4ed6\u96e2\u4e16\u5f8c\u7684\u534a\u5e74\u88e1\uff0c\u6211\u5e7e\u4e4e\u6bcf\u5929\u90fd\u54ed\u3002\u6211\u958b\u59cb\u8cea\u7591\u81ea\u5df1\u751f\u547d\u4e2d\u7684\u4e00\u5207\uff0c\u6211\u7684\u5de5\u4f5c\u3001\u4eba\u969b\u95dc\u4fc2\uff0c\u548c\u6211\u505a\u904e\u7684\u6240\u6709\u91cd\u5927\u6c7a\u5b9a\u3002\u4e00\u9ede\u4e00\u9ede\uff0c\u6211\u958b\u59cb\u5d29\u6f70\uff0c\u6211\u548c\u5468\u570d\u4eba\u7684\u95dc\u4fc2\u4e5f\u958b\u59cb\u7834\u88c2\u3002\u7136\u5f8c\u4e00\u5207\u5c0d\u6211\u4f86\u8aaa\u90fd\u5931\u53bb\u4e86\u610f\u7fa9\uff0c\u6211\u7684\u4eba\u751f\u611f\u53d7\u4e0d\u5230\u4e00\u7d72\u559c\u6085\u3002\u5f8c\u4f86\u7576\u6211\u610f\u8b58\u5230\u6211\u5728\u53d7\u82e6\u7684\u6642\u5019\uff0c\u6211\u5df2\u7d93\u60a3\u4e0a\u4e86\u56b4\u91cd\u7684\u6291\u9b31\u75c7\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now when I think back, I consider myself lucky, because I was able to realize that I was suffering. I am even grateful that my suffering brought me to the Dharma. That in itself is worth all the suffering that I experienced in my entire life. Sometimes I even think that maybe my relationship with my father was the way it was, exactly because it was meant to bring me to the Dharma. And because of that, my relationship with him feels all the more beautiful and loving, just the way it was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u73fe\u5728\u56de\u60f3\u8d77\u4f86\u6211\u89ba\u5f97\u81ea\u5df1\u662f\u5e78\u904b\u7684\uff0c\u56e0\u70ba\u6211\u9084\u80fd\u610f\u8b58\u5230\u81ea\u5df1\u5728\u53d7\u82e6\u3002\u6211\u751a\u81f3\u611f\u6fc0\u6211\u53d7\u7684\u82e6\u5e36\u6211\u627e\u5230\u4e86\u4f5b\u6cd5\u3002\u9019\u672c\u8eab\u5c31\u8b93\u6211\u9019\u8f29\u5b50\u53d7\u904e\u7684\u6240\u6709\u82e6\u90fd\u8b8a\u5f97\u503c\u5f97\u3002\u6709\u6642\u6211\u751a\u81f3\u89ba\u5f97\uff0c\u6211\u548c\u6211\u7236\u89aa\u7684\u95dc\u4fc2\u4e4b\u6240\u4ee5\u662f\u90a3\u6a23\u7684\uff0c\u5c31\u662f\u56e0\u70ba\u5b83\u8981\u628a\u6211\u5e36\u5411\u4f5b\u6cd5\u3002\u53ea\u70ba\u9019\u4e00\u9ede\uff0c\u6211\u611f\u89ba\u6211\u548c\u7236\u89aa\u7684\u95dc\u4fc2\u539f\u672c\u5c31\u662f\u7f8e\u597d\u800c\u5145\u6eff\u611b\u7684\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thinking back on life, I believe I may have some affinities with Guanyin. I believe she buried a seed of compassion in me with the death of my father. I say this because the timing of my father\u2019s passing was unbelievable to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u56de\u60f3\u4eba\u751f\uff0c\u6211\u76f8\u4fe1\u6211\u548c\u89c0\u97f3\u83e9\u85a9\u4e5f\u8a31\u662f\u6709\u4e00\u4e9b\u7de3\u5206\u7684\u3002\u6211\u76f8\u4fe1\u5979\u901a\u904e\u6211\u7236\u89aa\u7684\u96e2\u4e16\u5728\u6211\u5fc3\u88e1\u57cb\u4e0b\u4e86\u4e00\u9846\u6148\u60b2\u7684\u7a2e\u5b50\u3002\u6211\u9019\u9ebc\u8aaa\u662f\u56e0\u70ba\u6211\u7236\u89aa\u96e2\u4e16\u7684\u6642\u9593\u5728\u6211\u770b\u4f86\u662f\u4e0d\u53ef\u601d\u8b70\u7684\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

At the time I was working in the US and only got to spend more time with my family during the Christmas break. It was the end of December, after a few weeks at home I was ready to return to the US, when my father suddenly passed away the night before my return, due to a stroke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u7576\u6642\u6211\u5df2\u7d93\u5728\u7f8e\u570b\u5de5\u4f5c\uff0c\u53ea\u6709\u8056\u8a95\u7bc0\u5047\u671f\u624d\u80fd\u56de\u5bb6\u5446\u6bd4\u8f03\u4e45\u966a\u4f34\u5bb6\u4eba\u3002\u90a3\u662f12\u6708\u5e95\uff0c\u6211\u5df2\u7d93\u5728\u5bb6\u5446\u4e86\u5e7e\u500b\u661f\u671f\u6e96\u5099\u56de\u7f8e\u570b\u4e86\uff0c\u800c\u6211\u7236\u89aa\u5c31\u5728\u6211\u8981\u96e2\u958b\u7684\u524d\u4e00\u500b\u665a\u4e0a\u56e0\u70ba\u4e2d\u98a8\u800c\u96e2\u4e16\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As sad as I was, I couldn\u2019t believe the timing of his passing. If he had passed away a day earlier I would have spent a day less with him. If he had passed away a day later, I would have been on my flight back to the US. I thought to myself, there must have been some higher power planning the timing for me, a higher power that has mercy or compassion for me, because I feel her compassion in my heart, and I\u2019m grateful for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u96d6\u7136\u5f88\u50b7\u5fc3\uff0c\u6211\u537b\u5c0d\u4ed6\u96e2\u4e16\u7684\u6642\u9593\u611f\u5230\u96e3\u4ee5\u7f6e\u4fe1\u3002\u5982\u679c\u4ed6\u65e9\u4e00\u5929\u96e2\u958b\uff0c\u6211\u5c31\u6703\u548c\u4ed6\u76f8\u8655\u5c11\u4e00\u5929\uff0c\u5982\u679c\u4ed6\u665a\u4e00\u5929\u96e2\u958b\uff0c\u6211\u5c31\u767b\u4e0a\u4e86\u56de\u7f8e\u570b\u7684\u98db\u6a5f\u3002\u6211\u5fc3\u88e1\u60f3\uff0c\u4e00\u5b9a\u6709\u4e00\u7a2e\u66f4\u9ad8\u7684\u529b\u91cf\u5728\u70ba\u6211\u8a08\u5283\u9019\u4e00\u5207\uff0c\u9019\u7a2e\u529b\u91cf\u5c0d\u6211\u662f\u4ec1\u6148\u7684\u3001\u6148\u60b2\u7684\uff0c\u56e0\u70ba\u6211\u5fc3\u88e1\u80fd\u5920\u611f\u53d7\u5230\u9019\u7a2e\u6148\u60b2\uff0c\u6211\u56e0\u6b64\u800c\u611f\u6fc0\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now I have faith in reciting Guan Yin\u2019s name. My faith in it was established from a personal experience in the summer of 2023. I was returning from the Buddha Root Farm retreat early in the morning together with two others in my car. It was only a day after the retreat had started. The reason for our early departure was due to a COVID case and that person had been in my car. So, all three of us had to leave early, to prevent a COVID outbreak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u5982\u4eca\u6211\u76f8\u4fe1\u5ff5\u89c0\u97f3\u83e9\u85a9\u540d\u865f\u7684\u529b\u91cf\u3002\u6211\u9019\u500b\u4fe1\u5ff5\u662f\u5f9e2023\u5e74\u590f\u5929\u7684\u4e00\u6b21\u500b\u4eba\u7d93\u6b77\u5f97\u4f86\u7684\u3002\u7576\u6642\u6211\u525b\u5728\u4f5b\u6839\u5730\u53c3\u52a0\u4e86\u4e00\u5929\u89c0\u97f3\u4e03\uff0c\u7b2c\u4e8c\u5929\u4e00\u65e9\u5c31\u8981\u548c\u53e6\u5916\u5169\u500b\u4eba\u63d0\u524d\u958b\u8eca\u8fd4\u7a0b\uff0c\u56e0\u70ba\u548c\u6211\u540c\u8eca\u53bb\u7684\u4eba\u88e1\u6709\u4e00\u500b\u5f97\u4e86\u65b0\u51a0\u3002\u70ba\u4e86\u4e0d\u50b3\u67d3\u7d66\u5225\u4eba\uff0c\u6211\u5011\u540c\u8eca\u7684\u4e09\u500b\u4eba\u90fd\u8981\u63d0\u524d\u8fd4\u56de\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was nearly a 10 hour drive and I was the only driver. We had to wear masks all the way and were advised by Rev. Heng Sure to recite Guanyin\u2019s name the whole way back. So I recited as much as I could, out of fear of getting COVID. The car windows were open most of the time, and all I could hear was the sound of wind blowing and my recitation of \u201cNamo Guan Shi Yin Pu Sa.\u201d We arrived safely in Ukiah late in the evening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u56de\u7a0b\u8981\u958b\u8eca\u5e7e\u4e4e10\u500b\u5c0f\u6642\uff0c\u6211\u662f\u552f\u4e00\u4e00\u500b\u53f8\u6a5f\u3002\u6211\u5011\u4e00\u8def\u90fd\u8981\u6234\u53e3\u7f69\uff0c\u6046\u5be6\u6cd5\u5e2b\u9084\u56d1\u5490\u6211\u5011\u4e00\u8def\u90fd\u8981\u5ff5\u89c0\u97f3\u83e9\u85a9\u540d\u865f\u3002\u56e0\u70ba\u5bb3\u6015\u5f97\u65b0\u51a0\uff0c\u6211\u5c31\u5118\u91cf\u4e00\u8def\u90fd\u5728\u5ff5\u3002\u8def\u4e0a\u8eca\u7a97\u5e7e\u4e4e\u4e00\u76f4\u90fd\u958b\u8457\uff0c\u6211\u8033\u908a\u807d\u5230\u7684\u90fd\u662f\u98a8\u5439\u904e\u7684\u8072\u97f3\u548c\u6211\u4f4e\u8072\u5ff5\u7684\u201c\u5357\u7121\u89c0\u4e16\u97f3\u83e9\u85a9\u201d\u3002\u508d\u665a\u7684\u6642\u5019\u6211\u5011\u5b89\u5168\u62b5\u9054\u4e86Ukiah\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

After a long day of driving I was supposed to feel tired both in my body and mind, but surprisingly I wasn\u2019t. Instead I felt something that was hard to describe. My body felt light and my mind felt bright. I couldn’t say I was happy, but I was calm and peaceful with a sense of joy. At the dinner table with a friend, it came to me \u2014 I realized I was at ease, both body and mind. I chuckled at my realization, because isn\u2019t that her other name \u2014 the Bodhisattva who\u2019s always at ease (Guan Zi Zai)? Perhaps she was with me. Perhaps I was able to embody her after all that recitation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u958b\u4e86\u4e00\u5929\u7684\u8eca\u6211\u672c\u8a72\u611f\u5230\u8eab\u5fc3\u75b2\u618a\uff0c\u4f46\u9a5a\u8a1d\u7684\u662f\u6211\u4e00\u9ede\u4e5f\u4e0d\u7d2f\u3002\u53cd\u800c\uff0c\u6211\u7576\u6642\u7684\u611f\u89ba\u96e3\u4ee5\u63cf\u8ff0\u3002\u6211\u8eab\u9ad4\u611f\u5230\u8f15\u76c8\uff0c\u5fc3\u611f\u89ba\u5f88\u660e\u4eae\u3002\u6211\u8aaa\u4e0d\u4e0a\u662f\u958b\u5fc3\uff0c\u4f46\u89ba\u5f97\u5e73\u975c\u3001\u5b89\u5be7\uff0c\u9084\u6709\u4e00\u9ede\u559c\u6085\u3002\u548c\u670b\u53cb\u665a\u98ef\u7684\u6642\u5019\u6211\u610f\u8b58\u5230\u4e86 \u2014\u2014 \u6211\u8eab\u5fc3\u611f\u53d7\u5230\u7684\u61c9\u8a72\u7b97\u662f\u81ea\u5728\u5427\u3002\u6211\u8f15\u8072\u7b11\u4e86\u8d77\u4f86\uff0c\u56e0\u70ba\u90a3\u4e0d\u5c31\u662f\u89c0\u97f3\u83e9\u85a9\u7684\u5225\u865f\u55ce\uff0c\u89c0\u81ea\u5728\uff0c\u56e0\u70ba\u5979\u4e00\u76f4\u90fd\u81ea\u5728\uff1f\u4e5f\u8a31\u5979\u5c31\u5728\u6211\u5fc3\u88e1\uff0c\u4e5f\u8a31\u7d93\u904e\u4e00\u5929\u7684\u5ff5\u8aa6\u6211\u80fd\u5920\u9ad4\u73fe\u5979\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

At that moment I thought I might have understood how recitation works. We don\u2019t recite to anybody, not even ourselves. We recite to our own true nature, to the fundamental awareness, the Bodhisattva and the Budda inside us. That\u2019s the ground where all higher powers connect with us. We access other powers by embodying them. We borrow power from Guanyin by becoming her, one small piece at a time, one recitation at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u90a3\u6642\u6211\u60f3\u6211\u5927\u6982\u7406\u89e3\u4e86\u5ff5\u8aa6\u662f\u4ec0\u9ebc\u539f\u7406\u3002\u6211\u5011\u4e0d\u662f\u5538\u7d66\u7d66\u5225\u4eba\u807d\uff0c\u751a\u81f3\u4e5f\u4e0d\u662f\u7d66\u6211\u5011\u81ea\u5df1\u807d\u3002\u6211\u5011\u662f\u5ff5\u7d66\u6211\u5011\u7684\u81ea\u6027\uff0c\u7d66\u6211\u5011\u7684\u672c\u89ba\uff0c\u6211\u5011\u5167\u5728\u7684\u4f5b\u83e9\u85a9\u807d\u3002\u5728\u90a3\u88e1\u6240\u6709\u66f4\u9ad8\u7684\u529b\u91cf\u90fd\u548c\u6211\u5011\u5728\u4e00\u8d77\u3002\u6211\u5011\u901a\u904e\u81ea\u8eab\u7684\u9ad4\u73fe\u4f86\u7372\u53d6\u9019\u4e9b\u529b\u91cf\u3002\u901a\u904e\u8b8a\u6210\u89c0\u97f3\u6211\u5011\u624d\u80fd\u501f\u53d6\u5979\u7684\u529b\u91cf\uff0c\u4e00\u6b21\u4e00\u9ede\u9ede\uff0c\u4e00\u6b21\u4e00\u53e5\u5ff5\u8aa6\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a matter of fact, my connection to CTTB and Master Hua was also built little by little. I first got to know about CTTB and Master Hua in 2019. A friend recommended that I attend the Guan Yin retreat hosted by DRBU, so I went online and checked out the DRBU website and CTTB website. Although I decided not to join that retreat, I had gained some impressions about the Master, CTTB, and DRBU.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u8981\u8aaa\u8d77\u4f86\uff0c\u6211\u548c\u8056\u57ce\u4ee5\u53ca\u4e0a\u4eba\u7684\u806f\u7e6b\u4e5f\u662f\u4e00\u9ede\u9ede\u5efa\u7acb\u8d77\u4f86\u7684\u3002\u6211\u6700\u521d\u77e5\u9053\u8056\u57ce\u548c\u4e0a\u4eba\u662f\u57282019\u5e74\u3002\u90a3\u6642\u6709\u4f4d\u670b\u53cb\u63a8\u85a6\u6211\u53c3\u52a0\u6cd5\u5927\u4e3b\u8fa6\u7684\u89c0\u97f3\u4e03\uff0c\u65bc\u662f\u6211\u4e0a\u7db2\u770b\u4e86\u770b\u6cd5\u5927\u548c\u8056\u57ce\u7684\u5167\u5bb9\u3002\u96d6\u7136\u4e26\u6c92\u6709\u53c3\u52a0\u90a3\u4e00\u6b21\u7684\u89c0\u97f3\u4e03\uff0c\u4f46\u662f\u5fc3\u4e2d\u537b\u5c0d\u4e0a\u4eba\u3001\u8056\u57ce\uff0c\u548c\u6cd5\u5927\u7559\u4e0b\u4e86\u5370\u8c61\u3002<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

After I came to DRBU I felt gratitude for Master Hua and CTTB, but never anything out of the ordinary. Sometimes when I heard Dharma Masters or other people talk about their deep affinities with Master Hua, I felt envious and wished that one day I could have such a deep connection with Master Hua from my heart too. Perhaps a seed of my wish was secretly buried in my heart, later something happened to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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It was the spring of 2023, during my second semester in DRBU. One afternoon, I took two friends from DRBU to Ukiah to look at a house they were going to rent, because they were going to graduate in a few months. I remember the weather was cold and gloomy and the sun was about to set. Perhaps I was under the influence of the weather, I sudenly felt a sense of despair while listening to them talking to the house owner. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The voice of despair was telling me that I may be in the same situation like my friends in a year, or maybe worse! Maybe I won\u2019t be able to find a place to stay, and maybe I won\u2019t be able to find a job to support myself. Maybe I would be left alone all by myself and nobody would care. All my friends from DRBU would be gone and worst of all, I have to leave DRBU and CTTB too! With these thoughts I started to feel anxious and depressed, and tears started to build in my eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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On our way back to CTTB my heart sank to the bottom. I didn\u2019t know what to do. But as we got on Talmage Road and got closer to CTTB, I could feel that my heart was lifted and started to warm up. It was lifted more and more and got warmer and warmer as we got closer to CTTB. By the time we were so close that I could see the gate of CTTB, tears burst out from my eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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This time it was not tears of despair but tears of gratitude. I started to understand the profound meaning and magnitude of Master Hua\u2019s work and vows. If it wasn\u2019t for him I probably wouldn\u2019t have encountered the Dharma, not to mention studying. Nor would I have such an amazing place to call home for two years. And there wouldn\u2019t be such a loving and caring community that I am proud to be part of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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As I was thinking this, I got to the crossroad right in front of the mountain gate. At that moment I could see in my mind\u2019s eye that Master Hua was standing right above the mountain gate, perhaps hundred of meters tall, in his golden robe, with his arms  wide open and a big smile on his face, as if welcoming us home. I have this heavenly place to call home and it is filled with Dharma. To me, at that moment, CTTB really was the Land of Ultimate Bliss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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