培德女校畢業生心得分享 (二)

孫瑋唯、Lynnette Seak、李寧恩、陳荃荃講於2014年6月10日星期二晚  萬佛城大殿

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By Ashley Sun  孫瑋唯 

Dharma Masters, Teachers, Students and Good knowing advisers…. Good evening. My name is Ashley Sun, and I am another graduating senior from Developing Virtue Secondary School with another talk.

各位法師,老師,同學們,和善知識,大家晚安。我的名字是孫瑋唯, 我也是一個即將要從培德女中畢業的學生。

When I found out that I was going to give a Dharma talk today I didn’t know what I wanted to say. A few days ago I asked my dad what I should talk about. He told me to say anything that my heart wanted to say, whether it be good or bad.  So taking his advice I decided that I would talk about my relationship and experience with CTTB and how that has made me into the person I am today.

當我發現我要上台講法的時候,我不知道要講什麼。幾天前我問爸爸,我到底應該講什麼?他告訴我不管是好是壞,順從自己的心就好了。他說我可以分享我的經歷。所以我聽了他的話,決定今天要和大家分享我在聖城的經歷,和聖城是如何讓我成為今天的我。

First, you may wonder how I ended up here in the first place. I moved from Los Angeles to Ukiah when I was five. My parents decided that the move would be beneficial to my health and my brother’s health since the air quality is much better here then in LA, and moving here my mom could take care of her mother, my grandmother, who is a Dharma master here.

首先,你一定會想我是怎麼來到萬佛城的。五歲的時候,我從洛杉磯搬到了這邊。我的父母覺得這邊的空氣要比洛杉磯的好很多,會對我哥哥的身體好一些,而且來這邊的話,我媽媽可以照顧我的哥哥和我外婆,我外婆也是這裡的一個法師。

Most of the other people who come up here talk about how they have changed from there past self to their present self. However, I can’t say that I have changed if I have been here since I was in kindergarten. My life has been revolved around CTTB.  It is been one thing in my life that is constant.

大家都知道我很小的時候就已經在聖城了,很多講過法的同學都是和大家分享她們在這邊的改變。但是我不能說我在這個地方而改變了什麼,因為我從五歲就已經在這裡讀幼稚園了。我的生命和聖城是分不開的,因為一直以來我都在這裡上學。

I hope that as I move on from here that I will keep the virtues and values that I have learned through my years here. I remember when I was in second grade when Heng Jen Shr asked us who has never lied before, I rose my hand and said that I hadn’t lie. Though I can’t say that anymore now, from that experience I learned the value of honesty and the importance of staying true to my intentions and actions.

我希望即使我現在要離開,我可以把我這麼多年學到的品德和價值觀放在心中。我還記得,我二年級的時候,恒貞師問我們班:「誰從來沒有撒過謊?」當時我舉起了我的手,和她說:「我沒有。」雖然我現在不能再這麼說了,但是從那次的經驗中我學到了誠實的重要性,還有對自己的意念和行為都要真誠。

This place is a community, sometimes a dysfunctional community but the importance of respect is greatly implemented here. We are expected to greet our teachers and dharma masters when we see the. Although I don’t always do that because I’m a shy person, I really appreciate that expectation. It teaches me to be mindful and aware of my surroundings.

聖城是一個團體,雖然有的時候並不完美,但是互相尊重是很重要的。當我們看見法師和老師的時候,我們要向她們問好。我是一個害羞的人,所以我不是每次都會問好,但是我真的很珍惜這樣的教導,讓我對我周圍的事物更加的注意。

Many people here have good intentions and are kind, even if they do things wrong. I experienced the kindness of the community when my mother passed away in 2009. After she passed away I felt the support that the community gave me, even until now. I remember the day that I received the news that my mom was in the hospital it was during school meeting and a teacher calls me out of the room. My first thought was that I was in trouble, even though I had not done anything wrong. Without even knowing, CTTB always seems to be in every part of my life, even during the most critical times.

即使這裡的人有時也會犯錯,可是她們都很善良。在2009年,我媽媽去世的時候,我感受到了這個大家庭給我的關懷。直到今天,我還記得有一次在學校開會的時候,法師把我叫到外面,告訴我媽媽在醫院的消息。一開始還以為我做什麼錯事了,但是我根本沒有做錯事。我發現其實聖城記錄了我生命的每一個階段。

 The first few days after her death I received an overwhelming amount of support from CTTB and friends at school. A lot of the support was silent and nonverbal, but I could feel the energy and the stares that people gave. Though some people gave uncomfortably pity-stares I know that it was out of good intentions and that they were trying to show support. I have always felt that I have never said how grateful I am for the support that I have received here, especially after my mom’s death. One instance where I felt that support when during the first month the kitchen would prepare dinner for my father and me. I remember when Mrs. Lau also would occasionally bring food over to my house as well. I wish that support continued till today, then I wouldn’t have to cook dinner for me and my dad. Here today I want to take this opportunity to say how grateful and appreciative to everyone here who showed their kindness during that time of darkness towards me. To all the nuns and friends who went to the hospital to visit and pray for my mom. To CTTB for holding her funeral ceremony here. And everyone who never failed to give me support – I want to say thank you. I wish I could repay the kindness, and I am deeply grateful to what everyone has done for me.

在媽媽去世後的幾天,我的同學給予我很多的支持。也有很多不是出自言語的的關懷,一切的一切, 我都可以從大家的眼神中感受到。即使有些人用很可憐的目光看著我,我都知道她們是好心的,她們也只是想鼓勵我罷了。我一直都覺得,我沒有機會對這些關懷我和支持我的人, 表達我的感恩之心,尤其是在我媽媽去世了以後,有一個月的時間,齋堂會給我和爸爸做晚餐。我還記得Mrs.Lau也時不時會帶一些食物來我家。我希望那時的支持可以繼續,這樣我就不用學煮飯了。今天我有這麼一個難得的機會, 向所有在我生命中, 最困難的時候給予我關懷的人,表達我的感恩之心。謝謝那些去幫我媽媽助念的法師和朋友們,感謝聖城允許媽媽的喪禮在這裡舉行,還有謝謝所有一路支持我的人。我希望自己可以報答你們,謝謝你們所做的一切。

Coming from a unique place like CTTB it is hard to imagine that I will not be coming back here to attend school in the fall. But I plan to visit often since I will be a two and a half hour drive away. CTTB will always hold a special place in my heart. In three days I will be graduating and I am excited to move on with the next chapter in my life but I will never forget the roots and origins that I come from, here. Thank you.

從聖城這麼特別的地方出來,我很難想像下學期開學, 我就不會回來了。但是我計劃經常回來拜訪,因為我的大學離這裡開車只需要兩個半小時的時間。聖城在我的心中永遠都是無可替代的。我還有三天就畢業了,我很期待. 因為我的人生要翻開嶄新的一頁,盡管如此, 我永遠都不會忘記這裡是我的根,我是從聖城出來的。謝謝大家。

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By Lynnette Seak (12th grade)

Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, Venerable Master, all Dharma Masters, all good knowing advisors, amituofo. My name is Lynnette Seak, and I am an upcoming graduate of Developing Virtue Secondary School, included in the eleven that belong to the class of 2014.

諸佛菩薩,宣公上人,各位法師,各位善知識,阿彌陀佛。我的名字是Lynnette Seak,我是一位即將從培德中學畢業的11位畢業生之一。

Uhum. Well, life is unfair.

人生是不公平的。

There are times that things will go our way and then others we have entirely no control over at all. The worst part? When we actually get emotionally affected by it. This was the biggest difficulty I had to overcome, especially since I was young. “Why did this have to happen to me? Why is it me that has to change, instead of her?" Yes, when I was still a little girl, I would get into fights, if not with my friends, then with my parents. I would cry in the back of the car thinking that I was right, not my parents, and they had no say in my life. Yes, a 9 year old girl knew she wanted to control her life, not be controlled by her parents.

有時候, 事情很順我們的意, 但也有不如意的時候, 甚至會到完全失控的狀態。最糟糕的是甚麼呢?我們會被情緒所影響。這就是從我到大,需要克服的最大的難關。我總是問自己,「為什麼我需要承受這些?為什麼每次都是我得改變,而不是別人? 」是的,所以從小我就經常和別人發生口角,吵架的對象不是朋友,就是父母。我總是會在後車座上哭個不停,我堅定的認為自己是對的,別人是錯的,沒人有權利批評我。一個九歲的小女生竟然想要自己主宰自己的人生,不想要受父母的控制。

Oh, how much I wish my parents could regulate my life now. How I wish I didn’t have to make any decisions and live life instead of working hard. Life was so much easier being a kid, I don’t have to worry much; it’s just all risks and ‘trying again’s. But in the adult world, one wrong move and everyone’s eyes are on me. The funny thing is, it’s not their fault for looking at me, it’s mine for getting their attention. That took a while to get used to. As much as I knew the fact, I did not know the act. And it took me four years to realize this, to understand that if I wanted people to change their view on me, I had to change my point of view and my actions first. And with all the loving teachers and friends, and mother around me, this change of perspective was bearable, huge, but definitely rewarding.

但是, 現在的我, 是多麼的希望我的父母可以安排我的生活,我多麼的希望,我當初不需要做任何的決定,只要努力就好了。兒時的生活比現在簡單得多,那時的我並不需要擔憂,一切就是不斷的挑戰和嘗試罷了。但是在大人的世界中,一個小錯誤就可以讓所有人都注意到。最荒謬的是,別人對我的批評並不是錯的,錯的是我一直想要得到別人的注意。這個問題讓我花了很久去調整和適應。雖然我知道我的問題,但卻不知道該如何去改變。我花了四年的時間才學到,如果我想要改變別人對我的看法,我先要改變自己的想法和行為才行。在慈悲的老師、同學和媽媽的引導幫助下,我必須要做的改變就不是很難了,反而覺得很值得。

Last Sunday evening, when one Dharma Master was giving a Dharma talk, he brought up, “We have to wake up in order for the sun to rise". Every change starts from us. That sun is always up the moment we acknowledge it. So yes, life is unfair, life doesn’t always go the way we want, but we can definitely change our thinking about it, and make it through the tough and undesired. Don’t blame anyone; it’s not their responsibility to fix your life. Keep calm and carry on; life’s at its best when even the simplest things can make us happy.

上個星期日,一個法師說:「想要看到日出, 自己要先起床。」我覺得,一切的改變要從自己開始。我們只要抬頭看,太陽就在天上。雖然人生不是永遠會稱心如意,但是我們可以改變我們的看法,然後度過難關。不要責怪任何人,因為沒有人需要對我們的人生負責。所以定下心來,繼續向前走。知足常樂才是生活的最佳狀態。

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By Annabel Li  李寧恩

Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, Ven. Master, Dharma Masters and all good wise advisors, amitofo! My name is Annabel Li, a senior in DVGS.

諸佛菩薩,上人,法師,各位善知識,阿彌陀佛!我的名字是李寧恩,培德女中12年級的學生。

It was last summer when I finally uncovered my story of coming to The City of Ten Thousand Buddhas. As we all know, we recently celebrated Venerable Master’s Nirvana. Nineteen years ago on that very same day, even before I was born, my mother had a dream of a monk who she has never met before. After many months without putting that dream on her mind, she flipped through a magazine and in it was an article of the very same monk she had dreamt of. The monk was no other than the Venerable Master himself. My mother became interested in the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas and decided to bring my sister and me to visit place. We ended staying here for one month and I took refuge with the three jewels here. However, until this day, I have never seen my refuge certificate but that was how my story with CTTB began.

去年暑假,我才從媽媽那裏得知,我會來萬佛聖城讀書的因緣。我們剛剛才紀念了上人涅槃19週年。在19年前的同一天,在我還沒出生的時候,我媽媽夢見了一位她從來沒見過的法師。她也沒把這個夢放在心上。幾個月後,當她翻閱一本佛教雜誌時,裡面刊登了一份報導,而文章裏的新聞人物,就是那位她曾經夢見的法師。而這位法師就是萬佛城的創辦人宣化上人,當時我媽媽對萬佛城很感興趣,便在我兩歲時,帶著我與姊姊參訪萬佛城,並住了一個月,我也在那個時候,皈依了三寶。到現在為止,我都還沒有看過我的皈依證。但是,我與萬佛城的故事,也由此開始。

Ten years after that visit, I enrolled intoDevelopingVirtueSecondary School. I Now here I am graduating in three days from this place. It has been six years which flew by in an blink of an eye.  There is so much to say yet so little time but tonight I will like to emphasize how CTTB has shaped me.

參訪聖城的十年後,我報名就讀培德女中。再過3天我就要畢業了。一眨眼,在聖城的六年飛快的過去了。在短短的幾分鐘內,我有太多想要分享的故事。今晚,我會把重點放在聖城如何塑造我的過程。

People see me as “happy”, jolly all seasons round, not just Christmas. However, I was not always like this. At one point in my life, I was the ultimate crybaby. I used to secretly cry all the time. When I first came to CTTB, I used to cry in the bathroom, in the shower and to sleep

很多人都認為,我是個無時無刻都很快樂的開心果。但是,我不是一開始就是這麼開心的。其實,我以前是個愛哭鬼。我總會偷偷的躲起來哭。我剛來到聖城的時候很不習慣,也常常偷偷地躲在廁所或洗澡間裡哭,甚至在床上哭到睡著。

I was also abnormally hyper, with my high-strung moods. I could be nicest person in the world and then turn into mean, bratty girl so people found it hard to be friends with me. Even the dorm mother thought that I was a little off. She told me that I should at least go for an IQ test. Instead of an IQ test, my mother brought me to the doctor’s and I was diagnosed with Graves’ disease—hyperthyroid. I found out that my illness was the cause of my hyperactivity and my “moods”. Yet I have a difficulty of not taking my medication on time that explains the continuous imbalance of my emotions. Just like that, my first two years passed, leaving me only with blurry memories of homesickness. It was so bad that my parents wanted to send me away to another school.

我也是個異常興奮的小孩。前一秒,我可能是個全世界最乖的小孩,下一秒就成為難搞的人,大家都覺得很難和我做朋友。就連法師都覺得我很奇怪,甚至叫我去做IQ檢查。我的媽媽,把我帶我去看醫生,醫生也診斷出我有甲狀腺亢進的毛病。但是,我沒有按照醫生的囑咐按時吃藥,也因為這個原因,我的情緒十分的不穩定。我來聖城的前兩年,都被眼淚和想家的心情填得滿滿的。我的父母甚至想過讓我轉學。

But I stayed and my third year made all the difference. With the guidance of my teachers, I found my pursuit of happiness.  I found my self. In CTTB, I realized what type of person I wanted to become—a happy one.

但是我還是留下來了,我在聖城的第三年,一切都改變了。因為老師們的指導,我找到了讓自己快樂的方法。我也找到了我自己。我發現自己想要變成一個甚麼樣的人──我的目標是想要成為一個快樂的人。

Slowly, I learned to be more mindful of my thoughts, cautious to steer myself away from negative thinking of sadness and anger. I started dancing and allowing me to vent my negativity through the exercise.  Even if I am upset, I fake it till I make it. I do this by finding a way release my emotions in a positive way or I distract myself. And so, I became the “Positive” Annabel.

我變得更注意自己的念頭,提醒自己,盡量避免有憤怒和悲傷的想法。我開始以運動和跳舞來紓解我的負面情緒。就算我有甚麼不開心,我也會想辦法鼓勵自己,要自己開心一點,久而久之,我發現,自己可以用正面的方法,抒發我的情緒或分散我的注意力。因此,我就變成了充滿正能量的李寧恩。

Then I started thinking. In DVGS, we emphasize in the core virtues. All virtues are equally important but the virtue that is most noticeable and frequently applied here every day is kindness—wholesome intention to help others. Venerable Master started this school in hopes that students will take what they learn here and apply to their daily lives. What use will we have if we don’t apply what we learn?

然後,我開始在想,在培德女校,我們注重八德。每一個道德都一樣重要,但是最顯著的,也最常在聖城的日常生活中被運用到的是「慈悲」—一種願意幫助別人的善良之心。上人創校時,也是希望學生把所學的,運用到生活中。我們,如果不學以致用,那學習又有甚麼意義呢?

This year, I took psychology in school. There is this term called the Do Good-Feel Good Phenomenon.  This term is used to characterize the phenomenon that when people do something nice or participate in a charitable activity, they feel better and happier and that is exactly what I felt. CTTB helped me realized another way to make myself happy is to make others happy.

今年,我在學校拿了心理學的課,在這堂課裡我學到了一個有趣的現象,這個現象,簡單地說,就是人們會因為做好事而心生歡喜。而這種心理,可以準確的用來形容我的感覺。聖城讓我發現另外一個讓我自己開心的方法──就是助人為快樂之本。

Students complain about CTTB all the time.  We complain about the fact that we have to community service and that we have to go evening ceremony five times a week. We never really knew little things we do every day will actually pay off.

學生們都會抱怨學校,常常要做工,一個禮拜要做五天的晚課,但是,我們卻不知道,我們每天在聖城做的一切,都是值得的,將來有一天會用到的。

Last summer, I signed up Sea Turtles Studies Program inCosta Ricaand worked hands on with the world’s longest-running Sea Turtle Conservancy.

去年暑假,我到南美洲的哥斯大黎加,去上一個保護烏龜的課程,並在世界上最大的烏龜保育協會工作。

I went white-water rafting and I was super careful not to fall into the water but in the end I still fell into the river. Surprisingly, the first thought that came into my mind was none other than what we recite everyday during evening ceremony, “Amitabha”. There was not one drop of fear in me because during hardcore Buddhism class, I learned that when a person is at the brink of death, if he recites the name  “Amitabha”, he would be able to go to the Pureland. At the moment, I seriously believed that even if I die, Amitabha will take me to theLandofUltimate Blissbecause I recited Amitabha’s name.

有一天,我們去河邊划船,我很小心的不讓自己掉到大河裡。但是,人算不如天算,我還是掉到水裡了。令我驚訝的是,落水時,我心裡起的第一念,居然是我們每天晚課在念的「阿彌陀佛」。當時,我完全不怕。因為我們上佛學課有學到,如果有人要往生了,只要誠心地念阿彌陀佛,那個人就會往生到極樂世界。在落水的當下,我一直念阿彌陀佛,我很相信,如果那時,我真的死了,阿彌陀佛會來接我去西方極樂世界。

My unexpected experience taught that even though we might not appreciate values that have be repeatedly taught to us while we are in CTTB. These values are still unconsciously imprinted in our minds. Who knows, in the future, we will remember the little things we have learned here and use it to we face our difficulties.

這個出乎我意料的經驗,讓我發現到,雖然,我們有時候,並不會感恩我們在聖城學到的價值觀,但是這些價值觀都不知不覺的,已經烙印在我們的心裡了。誰會知道,在未來,我們遇到困難的時候,我們是不是又會想起,以前在聖城學到的事情或觀念,來幫助我們度過生命中的難關呢?

After six years, I am finally graduating, leaving this place that have kept me protected and well fed. However, I am not afraid to leave this place because I have lived my fullest here and most importantly, I found my self. I have faith in Venerable Master’s compassion, wherever I go, Venerable Master will continue to watch over me. Once a DVGS’er, forever a DVGS’er. For everything, I am forever grateful.

六年過去了,我終於要畢業了。雖然我即將離開這個保護我,讓我成長、茁壯的地方。但是我並不害怕,因為我已經在聖城活出了最精彩的我,最重要的是,我在這裡找到了自己。我相信上人的慈悲,無論我將來到哪裡去,他還會繼續地守護著我。一日為培德女校的學生,便終身如是。對聖城給我的一切,我永遠心存感恩。

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By Tancy Chen  陳荃荃

Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, Venerable Master, Dharma Masters, All Well-Knowing Advisor, Amitabha. My name is Tracy Chen. I’m a senior this year and tonight I will be sharing my experience here in the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas.

諸佛菩薩,宣化上人,各位法師,各位善知識,阿彌陀佛。我是陳荃荃,是這一屆的畢業生,我會分享在萬佛聖城的經驗。

Christopher Columbus once said, “You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” I never understood that quote until I came to CTTB.

哥倫布曾經說過:你如果沒有告別海岸的勇氣,你就永遠沒有辦法跨越海洋!我在來到聖城之後才真正理解到這句諺語的意思。

Four years ago, I watched the tide turn in my life. After attending the summer camp here, I decided to enroll at the girls school. However, as I had planned to be part of an elite, unique private school, I was horrified when I discovered that although the monastery was indeed unique, it came nowhere near my expectations.

四年前,我親眼看見自己的生活完全地被扭轉過來。在四年前, 參加了聖城的夏令營後,我決定報名就讀這裏的女校。然而,我一直想像自己是一所獨特的精英私立學校的學生;雖然聖城雖然真的很獨特,但是卻和我想像中的完全不同。

My first year here went by slowly. I didn’t like it here, and I would spend the half hour I was given to call home every weekend fighting with my parents, begging them to let me go home. The teachers and older students knew I was having a hard time adjusting, and tried to help me, telling me the positive aspects of this place and that if I tried accepting the place, I would eventually see the light at the end of the tunnel.

我在培德的第一年時間過得很緩慢。我非常不喜歡這裏,而我也會在每星期我們與家人通話的半個小時裡和父母吵架,這些爭吵無非是要求他們讓我回家。老師們和較年長的其他同學都知道我非常不適應這裏的環境,並嘗試幫助我,他們告訴我聖城的種種優點,也勸我如果能夠接受這個地方的話,我終會苦盡甘來。

Yet at that time, I couldn’t see that. I couldn’t see that I was creating a negative atmosphere for others and myself here, I couldn’t see that my parents’ health was deteriorating because of constantly fighting with me and worrying about me, I couldn’t see the efforts teachers and older students made to help me. All I could think about was myself, and my own opinions and feelings. I wanted out so bad. It took over my thoughts so much that all I could think about was what was wrong with this place.

但是那時候的我根本無法看到這些好處。我沒有看見我的不滿正在爲自己和身邊的其他人製造一個充滿負面情緒的環境。我也沒有看見因爲父母和我的爭吵,他們爲我憂心而變差的身體。我也沒有看見老師們和其他同學,爲了幫助我而付出的努力。我事事都只想到自己的心情和想法。我是多麼地想要離開培德女中。這些想法霸佔了我所有的思緒,導致我所能想到的只有這個地方的缺點。

This went on throughout my first year, and even my second year. Although I was gradually getting used to this place and disliking it less and less, I still wanted to leave.

這種情形在我來的第一年持續了很久,甚至延燒到了第二年。雖然我慢慢地適應了這個地方,也沒有當初那麼反感,但是我還是非常想離開。

The summer after my second year here, I lived in Berkeley with a classmate and her mother and thus I was away from CTTB and also my family. That summer, I went out a lot, broke quite a few school rules, partied many nights, barely talked to my parents, wasted a lot of money, and befriended people who were negative influences.

在十年級的暑假裡,我和一位同班同學和她的母親同住在柏克萊,那時的我離聖城和父母都很遠;因此,那個暑假我常常外出,觸犯了幾條校規,晚上常常去派對,沒什麼和父母聯絡,浪費了很多錢,也交了一些帶來負面影響的朋友。

Then the end of that summer came, and I found myself extremely depressed and lost. I wasn’t as close to my family anymore, many of the people that I considered my friends weren’t as close as I thought they were, I didn’t have any goals or aspirations left. No matter how much I tried to deny it, I found myself missing CTTB. This place had become a home and its people, a family. I realized that although I had always been viewing the monastery as barbarian gulag holding me captive, it was really a chance for introspection and a peaceful place for mental clarity. Most importantly, I realized that it wasn’t CTTB that was bad or made me unhappy, it was my own rotten attitude and bad habits that made my life here so miserable.

那年的暑假很快就結束了。我發現自己比之前更消沉和更迷失。我和家人的關係不再密切,原本有一些好朋友,結果也變成了泛泛之交,我失去了目標和志向。無論我如何努力地否認這一點,但我發現自己竟然想念着聖城。這個地方已經成爲我的家,而住在裏面的人也成爲我的家人。我發現以往我總是把聖城看成是一個囚禁我的監獄,但是出乎意料之外的,對我來說,它卻成爲了一個我能夠平定心緒,自我反省的地方。最重要的是,我發現並不是聖城的不完美讓我不開心,而是我自己糟透了的態度和壞習慣讓我活得很悲慘。

Because of this realization, I came back for my third year here with a completely different mindset. I had let go of my past complaints and dissatisfaction. Cause for the first time in forever, I could see my faults and wanted to change. For the first time in forever, I was willing to open up to and help my classmates and teachers. For the first time in forever, I, out of my own will, wanted to be in CTTB.

正因爲這個覺醒,我以完全不同的心態邁入了在聖城的第三年。我捨棄了我前兩年的種種抱怨和不滿。因爲這是有史以來第一次,我能夠看見自己的缺點,以及有了積極地想要改變的心態。史無前例的,我願意打開心房幫助其他的同學們和老師做事。破天荒的第一次,我,處於自願的狀況下,想要留在聖城讀書。

After I opened up to this place, I started thinking for others instead of just myself, starting with my family and moving on to my friends and other students. As I spent more time helping out the school and my peers, I looked up to the other student’s positive points and strived to better myself. Instead of fighting with my parents every time I called them, I learned to listen to their advice and our relationship grew stronger out of understanding. Gradually, my attitude improved and I wasn’t interested in the bad things I used to enjoy anymore. Although I still have behaviors that need to be changed, I feel that here, I have finally been able to understand who I truly am as a person and what type of person I want to be.

當我對這個地方打開了心房後,我開始爲他人着想,從我的家人開始延伸到我的朋友和其他的同學。當我花更多的時間幫助學校和我周遭的人,我開始看到其他人的優點,而這也鼓勵我讓自己越變越好。與其在每次打電話回家的時候跟父母吵架,我學會聆聽他們的勸告,而我和他們的關係也因爲互相理解而變得更堅固。慢慢地,我的態度改善了,我也不再對那些我曾經帶給我享受的不良行爲那麼地感興趣。雖然我還有很多有待改善的地方,但是我覺得在這裏,我終於能夠理解真實的自己,並看清楚我未來想要成爲怎樣的人。

This is why I am so thankful towards this place. It has changed me in innumerable, positive ways. It’s hard to describe, even now, the magnitude of this impact. Leaving CTTB is such a brutal transition that I don’t know what the world has in store for me, but one thing I know is that I have the lessons and experiences I’ve gained here to guide me on. There’s bound to be rough waters, but I am eager to chance the rapids and dance the tide.

這也是爲什麼我對這個地方那麼地心存感激。它在數不清的角度裏正面地改變了我。就算是現在,我還是很難去形容這項影響的重要性。離開聖城將是我人生中的一個巨大轉捩點,我不知道這個世界爲我準備了什麼樣的驚喜,但是我知道的是,我在這裏累積起來的教訓和經驗,能夠指引我繼續向前進。前方的海洋必定海浪滔滔,但我非常期待我能迎接未來的挑戰!