小城的美

王欣平講於2010年10月8日星期五晚 萬佛城大殿  A talk given by Sharon Wang on October 8, 2010


諸佛菩薩,宣公上人,各位法師,各位善知識,老師,同學,阿彌陀佛,我是培德女中11年級的王欣平,我今天要分享我的故事。

Buddha, Bodhisattva, Venerable Mater, Dharma Mater, all good knowing advisers, teacher and students. My name is Sharon Wang. I am in 11 th grade from Developing Virtues Girl’s School. Amitabha!

如果我們說人生有80歲的話,在這80 年的人生中, 能有多少圓滿的事情發生呢?在平常人的生活中,人們總喜歡抱怨自己的人生是如何的沉悶,不圓滿, 即使有很好的工作和幸福的家庭,可是仍然無法滿足,我來聖城之前也是如此。

If we say there are eighty years for one’s life spine, how many satisfying incidents can happen during these eight years? In our daily life, people always complain how their lives are plain, boring and dissatisfying; even though they have a high pay job and an adoring family, people still feel empty. My attitude toward life was as pessimistic as those people before I came to CTTB.

我曾經覺得我的人生不圓滿,我有個殘障的爸爸,每天被娘家煩到受不了的媽媽,一個不是很值得驕傲的哥哥,還有看到我就會咬牙切齒的姊姊。在外面,我總是那個爛好人,功課平平,不引人注目;每次看到別的女生總是能吸引眾人的目光被一群人簇擁,就覺得好羨慕,反過來看我自己,沒有一處特別的地方,真是令人沮喪。我從來沒有足夠的信心,我看到的總是自己的缺點,日積月累自然也沒有了笑容。來了聖城以後,我的不圓滿漸漸變圓滿了。

I always felt as if my life was never in my favor. I have a father who is handicapped, a mother who is annoyed by her own family, a brother who procrastinates (which is not a really something to be proud) and a sister who always insults me whenever she sees me. Besides my family, I was a yes- man girl. My grades were average in class. I did not have any attractive appearance or character. I admired those girls who are attractive and were surrounded by groups of people. Then I reflect myself: it was so depressing that I am not special at all. I never had enough confidence because I usually saw bad points in my characters. Day after day, I left no smile on my face. After I came to CTTB, my attitude toward life changed gradually.

2007年的夏天,我踏進這座小城的城門。當時,我腦海中不由自主地浮現兩個字- 簡陋。看盡大城市的繁華的我,這小城只顯然非常地的單調,當然,我當下對這裡的人做出了預測- 土包子! 然而,接下來在小城的的日子卻轉變了我的一生,開啟我的夢想,具體肯定我的存在。

The first time I stepped into the gate of CTTB was in the summer of 2007. At that moment, my head popped out a word unconsciously- primitive. CTTB seemed so simple and boring compared to the ostentatiously prosperous Taipei. Of course, I immediately made an assumption of the people here- a group of Buddhist hicks. However, the days I spent in CTTB changed my life to a brighter perspective; it aroused my dream, and built up my specialty.

座落在小城裡的學校,從外貌上,怎麼看在一點都不像一間學校,兩層樓的建築爬了些許的藤蔓在紅磚上,加上木頭格子的窗戶,開關都得使上吃奶的力氣不說,還會配上喀嘰喀機的音樂! 讓人有身置在在哈利波特城堡的感覺,所以說它是一所廢棄的建築老式建築,可能還比較令人相信吧! 在這所小學裡從幼稚園到高三,學生人數不超過一百人,肯定每個人的個性、身家……..大家都瞭若指掌吧! 老師當中,大多數也是修行人。在這小城得學生,不能交男女朋友,不能隨便上網,不能隨便外出,當時我真的懷疑自己是否真的待得下去?

The school in CTTB does not look like a school on the appearance: a two- floors building with some ivy crows on the wall; the wooden windows that made weird music when we try really hard to open it. This building is more like a discarded building rather than a school. In this school, there are approximately a hundred students only. For sure everyone knows each other really well. Among all the teachers, most of them are cultivators. During the school time, students cannot go on the internet, go out without permission, and the have a relationship with opposite gender.  When the school just started, I was wondering how would I survive in this kind of environment for one year?

一開始,我也很沒有信心,但是當我跟這邊的人相處後,我才覺得自己是很幸福的,有些同學可能沒有一個很完整的家庭,但卻很知足,他覺得這樣就很幸福了。有位女生,她長得蠻普通,但在我的眼力,她的自信使他光采亮麗,經由跟同學的相處,我發現了我自己的價值,我不是一位爛好人,我喜歡幫助別人,我不喜歡拒絕別人,是因為我不想要人家傷心,我活得更有自信,更開心,對於我的家人,我不再感到不好意思,我的爸爸即使是殘障,他卻努力工作來讓我有更好的教育,我的媽媽是位好媽媽,他勤儉持家,總是把家人擺第一,我的哥哥即使有一點懶,功課不好,但他是一位很體貼的哥哥,把自己的本分做得很好,雖然我跟姊姊不好,但他卻教了我人生很重要的一課,那就是「己所不欲,勿施於人」,我再也不覺得我的人生不圓滿,反而它比誰都圓滿。

In the beginning, I lacked confidence in myself.  However, after I had the interaction with the girls in the school, I started feeling that I have a really fortunate life. In the school, some the girls have a single family, but they never complain about it because they think that it is happiness. There was a girl, she is not as pretty as a movie star, but her confidence makes her appearance just like one of the people in Hollywood. After the few months in the school, I discovered my values as Sharon Wang; I am not a Yes- Man- Girl. I like to help people; I don’t like to reject others because I feel guilty for not helping. I live in a more confident and happier  way than before. I don’t feel embarrassed about my family anymore. Even though my dad is a handicapped, he works really hard to give me a better education in America; my mother is a really good mother because we are always the first priority in her heart; even though my brother procrastinates all the time, but he is a considerate person who does his duty as a brother very well; I know I do not get alone with my sister, but she taught a really important lesson in my life, which is “ Do unto others as others unto you.” I feel my life is no longer dissatisfying, instead, I have the brightest life compared to others.

而且,我慢慢發現小城的美,在這小城,我學到外面學不到的價值觀和平靜,透過打坐和佛學課,我學到要以理性來看待每一件事情,學習管理自己的情緒和降低慾望,並用最原始的心來處理困難。同時我們也尊重別人,尊重生命,因為這也正是對自己的尊重,當我學到人生是因為有妄想,才有煩惱時,我知道要如何以平常心看待一切的不順利。在小城,我想當史懷哲,到非洲當義工醫生的夢想得到了支持。我第一次知道原來我沒做一件可笑的事情,而是人生中最有意義的抉擇。在小城的學校,修行人老師讓我重新建立了希望,讓我知道我是特別的,我可以是一群中最閃耀的星星,我的人生將多采多姿,因為每個人都是特別的,我也是。

Gradually, I discovered the beauty of CTTB. During these three years, I learned the values and the calmness which I have never known before. Through meditation and Buddhist classes, I learned that I should solve a problem in a more rational point of view, and how to self control and understand our desires through our most original conscious.  Also, I learned how to respect other and all living things, because this is the respect toward one’s self. When I learned that we have desires because we have false thinking, I know I should not expect to much on myself and other in any difficulties. In the CTTB, my dream of being a volunteer doctor in third world country was supported. This is the first time I realize that I did not dream about an impossible mission. It is the most meaningful decision I have made in my life. In school, the cultivating teachers built up my confidence and hope by letting me know I am special. I can be the brightest star in the crowd. My life will be full of meanings because everyone is special, therefore, so am I.

聖嚴法師曾說過:「山不轉,路轉;路不轉,人轉;人不轉,心轉。」只要有對的心態,沒有不圓滿的事情,每件事都是圓滿的。

Dharma Master Sheng Yan once has said, “ if the mountain does not turn, the road will turn;if the road does not turn, the person will turn;if the person does not turn,the mind will turn” . As lone as we have the right attitude toward our life; there is no such thing as not dissatisfaction.  Everything is satisfaction.