從一個奇妙的咳嗽看修行

沙彌尼近廉 講於2012年2月28日星期二晚  萬佛城大殿  A talk give by Shramanerika Jin Lian on Feb 28 (Tuesday), 2012 at Buddha Hall of CTTB

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諸佛菩薩,宣公上人,諸位法師,諸位善知識:阿彌陀佛。今晚輪到沙彌尼親節近廉和大衆結法緣。如果個人有什麽講的不如法的地方,希望大家慈悲指正。

Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, VM, DMs and all good knowing advisors: Amitabha. Tonight is novice nun QinJie JinLian’ s turn to tie Dharma affinity with the assembly. If I say anything not according with the Dharma, please kindly correct me.

前幾個星期,有位講法者提到,她發現禪七期間灰塵比平時多。 想想也是,每天十多次的跑香,每一次都可以把地毯上最微小的灰塵都振出來,雖然有幾十台全自動人工空氣吸塵機馬上在禪堂裏吸灰,但是應該還是會有很多灰塵漏網,所以那位説法者在打掃的時候發現有那麽多的灰塵也並不奇怪。

Several weeks ago, a Dharma speaker mentioned that she found that during the Chan Session there had been much more dust in the Buddha Hall comparing with regular time. Actually that is not a strange thing, during the Chan Session, every day we had walking period for more than ten times, and in every running time our heavy steps could quake even the tiniest dust in the carpet into the air. Though after the running, dozens of automatic manual air-purifiers immediately sat in the Chan Hall to clean the air, it was no wonder lots of dust still could not be removed, so feeling much filthier in the Chan Session is not something unbelievable.

坐在滿是灰塵的禪堂裏,咳嗽當然是不奇怪的。再加上現代人的生活本來就匆忙,虛火、肝火都很旺,一旦坐下來打禪七,可以想像那些火直沖喉嚨,咳嗽那就更是很正常了。所以一般叢林裏的冬季禪期,在起七前都會有一段調養身體的時間。不過現代人什麽都要快的,哪有什麽時間調理身體呢? 能來禪堂就不錯了。所以在禪堂裏咳嗽那就更是很平常了。不過,今晚,個人想要講的是另外一種很有趣的咳嗽,是個人親身經歷的,很妙的咳嗽。

Sitting in such a Chan Hall filled with dust, you could imagine cough is common. Plus, now modern people’s lives are very busy, usually their temper and liver-fire are very strong. Once they sit down to meditate, all those fire rush to their throats, so coughing is not a surprise. That is the reason in ancient time lay people were required to live in monastery for a while to adjust their bodies before they started to attend the Chan Session especially for winter Chan Session. However, nowadays, who has such time to do that, coming to the Chan Hall to sit is already a wonder. So hearing the sound of coughing in the Chan Hall is usual. But tonight, I want to talk about another kind of coughing, a very interesting cough that I experienced during this Chan Session. I would like to share it with everyone here.

那個時候,已經坐了一段時間了,身體開始慢慢熱起來了,暖暖的很舒服,突然,喉嚨奇癢難忍。要咳嗽了。 不行,我對自己說,好不容易禪堂才安靜下來,大家終於可以專心用功,我怎麽可以在這個時候咳嗽呢。不可以咳嗽。我對自己說:「乖,放鬆,不可以咳嗽。」可是不行,喉嚨很癢,實在是忍不住了。 要咳嗽。不行,不許咳嗽!我命令自己。可是那個癢更厲害了,就在我要咳出來的時候,我在心裏對自己大吼一聲:「不准咳嗽!」就在那一瞬間,我看到了一個粘在我喉嚨上瑩白色的像蟲子一樣的水泡爆裂了,我甚至可以清楚地看到它爆裂「波」的聲音。就在它爆裂的時候,那影像也不見了,喉嚨也一下子不癢了。百骸調適,身心輕安。

At that time, already sitting for a while, gradually my body warmed up, very comfortable, but suddenly I felt my throat extremely itch. I wanted to cough. “NO Way” I told myself, finally, we got some peace after so many sounds of cough, now we could put effort in our meditation, how could I now make noise to cough? I told myself:”Behave, behave yourself, relax, no coughing.” But the itch became more and more serious. I could not hold it. NO Way, I ordered myself No Coughing.  But the itch got even worse. I could not stand any longer. Just before I lost my control I roared to myself, No Cough, suddenly I saw something on my throat, silver-transparent beetle-like bubble, burst. I even could see the sound of its break. As soon as it burst out, that vision also disappeared, the itch stopped, my entire body was at ease, and my mind was peaceful.

個人在那個瞬間真有點反應不過來。這是怎麽囘事?雖然也知道一切浮塵,諸幻化相,當處出生,隨處滅盡的道理,但是那個影像來得那樣的突然,消失得又那麽迅速,到底是真的還是假的? 假的, 為什麽那個水泡爆裂之後,喉嚨不癢了?真的, 真有東西在我的喉嚨上故意讓我咳嗽?那個東西是什麽時候進入我的身體的? 我保證那個時候我沒有睡着。我很清醒,那為什麽 我沒有發現它的進入呢?我到底坐在那裏幹什麽? 想不起來,我在事情發生之前究竟在幹什麽?沒有在念佛,沒有在念咒,沒有在背經,也沒有在發夢,什麽都沒有,那個時候在幹什麽,真的想不起來,腦子一片空白,這才發現,自己的念力是那樣的薄弱,竟然有那麽大一段的時候完全沒有防護,讓自己的業障有了可趁之機。

At that moment, I was so shocked that I did not know what was going on there. Though I knew everything is illusion: they come into being when both their causes and their conditions are present, and they cease to be when either their causes or their conditions are absent; however, the vision appeared in a sudden then disappeared in a second, then how could I tell it was true or false?   Is it False?  Then why after the burst my throat had no itch anymore?  True? Was there really something on my throat intentionally made me to cough?  Then when did it enter my body? I guarantee I was not sleeping at that moment. My mind was quite clear, and then how come I did not notice its entry?  What was I really doing sitting there? I could not remember. Not reciting Buddha’s name, not memorizing any sutra, not be mindful of any mantra, even not day dreaming, then what I was doing before the incident happened? I could not remember; my brain was blank. Finally, I realized that how weak of my mindfulness. My mind was wide open without any protection for such a long time, so my karmic obstruction took the advantage.

奇怪的喉嚨癢讓我提高了警覺,在那以後,真不敢有絲毫的懈怠,真像是貓捉老鼠一樣,一有念起,一有變化就問「是誰?」雖然那樣的奇怪的喉嚨癢又發生過多次,不過都順利化解。但是始終不明白那到底是什麽, 終於在一天的晚上,謎底揭曉了。

That strange itch make me bring forth my alert all the time after that. I dared not be slack any more, like a cat waiting for its mouse; I was checking my mind all the time. Once I found some false thought or something uncommon happened I ask” Who”. Though those strange itches happened several times later, I successfully conquered them all. But I still could not understand what that was. Eventually, I got the answer at the lecture time in one evening.

今年的禪期,我們是聼上人1976年的禪期開示。雖然錄音帶本身的年紀比個人都大了,但是,就在這古老的錄音帶裏,上人回答了我的問題。上人提到,所謂魔事,就像是一個餵貓的碗。你把那只碗放出去了,那貓自然就來了,想想也是,如果我的念力不是那樣鬆散的話,業障也沒法來,要不是在那一刻不要咳嗽的念力超過了那個讓我咳嗽的我的業力,也許我也就咳得稀里嘩啦,甚至以爲是自己感冒了,完全跟著自己的業障轉了。一切就都在那一念間,是邪勝正,還是正勝邪,勝負就在彈指間。

During this Chan Session, at the evening lecture time, we listened to the VM’s Chan Talk in 1976. Though those tapes are quite old, even older than my age, in the tape, VM gave me the answer. Master mentioned that what was Demonic Affair, it was just like a cat bowl. If you put out a cat bowl, then cats will come sooner or later. That is true, if my mindfulness was not that loose, then my karmic obstruction could do nothing to me; if that thought of not coughing was not that strong then the power of my karmic obstruction would have made me have a very bad cough, even made me to think that maybe I got cold. Then I would totally be turned by it. Everything depends on that one thought: the evil conquers the good or the good subdues the evil, victory or lose is just between the time of a snap of fingers.

今年的禪七,很有趣,真的學到很多。有些境界過關了,有些境界克服了,但是越是往上走,越是艱難。更多的境界,個人沒有辦法克服,更多的情況個人難以超越,個人選擇了逃避。自以爲很聰明,打不過可以跑嘛!但是,在這六道輪迴中,又可以逃到哪裏去呢?逃到哪裏又是安全的呢?

This Chan Session is very interesting, I learned a lot from it. Some states I passed, some I endured, however it becomes more and more difficult for me to progress further.  Lots of the states I could not pass, more and more states I could not transcend. I chose to escape. I thought I were clever, if I could not conquer it, why not just leave it and run away. But, in these six destinies, where could I run to, where is the safe place for me to stay?

禪期以後,一直在問自己,那個時候,為什麽要逃呢?每年的修行不就是爲了這年終的大考嗎?為什麽這次臨陣脫逃了呢?回答是,敵強我弱,猶如一人與萬人戰,真好怕自己會格鬥而死,所以就怯弱了,半路而退了。不過,那個時候雖然是逃掉了,但是我問自己,如果臨命終時,你還能逃得了嗎?

After the Chan Session, I ask myself all the time, why, why at that time you wanted to run away? The Winter Chan Session is always your most favorite session, you have been waiting for it for whole year, why this time you wanted to quit.  The answer is the enemies are too strong and I am too weak, like a soldier who goes into battle alone against ten thousand enemies. I was really afraid that I would be killed, so I was coward and retreated. Then I ask myself, OK, you ran away at that time, then could you run away again when you are on your death bed?

世尊曾經對阿難尊者說過,世人因諸愛染,發起妄情,情積不休,能生愛水,諸愛雖別,流結是同,潤濕不升,自然從墜。世人因諸渴仰, 發明虛想,想積不休,能生勝氣,諸想雖別,輕擧是同,飛動不沉,自然超越。臨命終時,未捨暖觸,一生善惡,俱時頓現,純想即飛;情少想多,輕擧非遠;情想均等,不飛不墜;情多想少,流入橫生;純情即沉,入阿鼻獄。

The World-Honored one once told the Ven. Ananda:” People, when they are influenced by emotional desire, and their feelings accumulate steadily, they generate fluids associated with emotion. Emotions differ, but all are alike in that they are associated with secretions, which may be exuded or may remain within the body. Moisture does not rise; its nature is to flow downward. People, when yearn for something higher, beings have uplifting thoughts, and when these thoughts accumulate steadily, they can generate a superior energy.  These aspirations differ, but all are alike in that they lead beings to soar upward by conferring either lightness or upward motion. It is their nature not to sink but to take flight and to transcend. At the moment of death, while some warmth remains in their bodies, all the good and all the evil that they have done during their lifetimes suddenly appear before them. If pure mental activity alone is present in their minds, they will soar upward and will be certain to be born in the heavens.  If pure mental activity is dominant in their minds but some emotion is also present, they will still soar upward, but not as far. If their pure mental activity and their emotions are equal in strength, beings will neither soar nor fall. If Beings have more emotion than pure mental activity, they will be reborn in the realm of animals. When they are ruled entirely by emotion, they sink into the Unrelenting hell.

為什麽逃,就是怕了,就是被自己的情控制了,被自己的想份所轉了。問自己,自己持戒的程度能不能讓自己擧身輕清?問自己,自己持咒的功夫能不能讓自己達到顧盼雄毅的境界?問自己,自己念佛的程度,能不能 達到聖境冥現的層次?自己修行的勝氣那麽弱,完全不能超越自己的業力,那從墜是很平常的了。

The reason why I ran away is I was frightened, totally controlled by my emotions, totally turned by my internal autonomic process. Asking my- self have I reached the level of following the precepts that could make I feel my body is serene?  Asking my-self has my skill of holding mantras attained the state that could develop a heroic and fearless air? Asking my-self has my recitation of Buddha’s name could make sacred visions appear to me privately?  The superior energy I generate from my cultivation is too weak to transcend my karmic obstruction, and then to sink is for certain.

回想出家的這一千多個日日夜夜,問自己有多少時間是放在道業上的呢?看看自己的功課量就知道了。從一開始的每天21遍,變成19遍,慢慢變成17 遍,15遍,11遍,7遍,3遍。最後就變成每天一遍——早課隨眾。每次的改變理由都是:我太累了,我太忙了,我身體太虛弱了,沒有氣了,我需要休息。放下了修行的我整天就在和藥罐子、藥瓶子打交道。愚蠢的自己以爲可以和自己的業障作交易。但是我的健康恢復了沒有?在和魔王的交易中,我似乎得到了虛幻的健康,但卻失去了咒力的護佑,失去了自己的定力,失去了作爲一個戰士的鬥志,更失去了作爲一個修行人的道心。

Recalling these more than one thousand days of my monastic life, I ask my-self how many of them I spent on my cultivation. Looking at my personal dharma work, from the very beginning of one set of 21 times a day to 19 times, 17 times, 15, 11, 7, 3 and eventually, it became one time in the morning recitation with the assembly. Every change my excuse was always: I am too tire, I am too busy, I am sick, I am too weak, I have no more energy, I need more rest. Put down my practices, I mingled with all kinds of medicines and diagnosis. How silly it was of me wanting to negotiate with my karmic obstructions. Have I regained my health? In the deal between the Demons, it seems that I obtained the illusory health, however, I lost the protection and blessing from the power of the mantra, lost my samadi power, lost my aspiration as a solder, and lost the most important thing, as a cultivator, the faith on the Dharma.

閲讀經典,研習經典,看了那麽 多的魔境,就好像一直在聼世尊講狼來了的故事,「狼來了,狼來了!」可是一直認爲那不是狼的事嗎?但是,如果哪一天狼真的來了。我輕聲地問自己:「你準備好了嗎?」

Reading the sutra, studying the sutra, like the World-Honored one has been telling me the wolf-coming stories all the time, but that is the wolf’s business, right?  However, if, if one day wolves truly came, I ask my-self in whisper:” what are you going to do?”

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