修行不容易 時時是考驗

沙彌尼近廉 講於2012年11月8日星期四晚  萬佛城大殿  A talk give by Shramanerika Jin Lian on November 8 (Thursday), 2012 at Buddha Hall of CTTB

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諸佛菩薩,宣公上人,諸位法師,諸位善知識,阿彌陀佛。今晚輪到沙彌尼近廉和大衆結法緣。如果在個人的報告中有說的不如法的地方,請各位慈悲指正。

Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, Venerable Master, dharma masters and all good knowing advisors, Amitabha. Tonight is novice nun Jinlian’s turn to tie dharma affinities with the assembly. If there is anything I said not according with the dharma, please correct me.

其實每次坐在臺上對大家說今晚輪到個人和大衆結法緣,總有點心虛。為什麽呢?其實聖城是一個說小不小,說大不大的地方。大家住在一起,早上不見,晚上見;擡頭不見,低頭見。其實所謂的法緣早已經在日常生活的點點滴滴中結下了。坐在台上說要結法緣,總有一些詞不達意的感覺。常聼人講書到用時方恨少,坐在台上講法才知道自己平時真是沒有在好好用功。

Actually, every time when I sit on the stage, I always feel lack of self-confidence. Why? Being honest, CTTB is not a small place; however, it is also not a big place. Here, we live together, work together, and almost do everything together; everyday sooner or later we could meet one another. Therefore, we have already been planting the dharma affinities with everyone. Now sitting on the stage, I really do not know what to say. We often say only when writing can make you realize not reading enough; and only when sitting on the stage speaking the dharma, then I notice I really need more practice.

個人是個很愚痴的人,曾經為了世尊那一句“設復有人,若有罪,若無罪,杻械枷鎖檢繫其身,稱觀世音菩薩名者,皆悉斷壞,即得解脫。”為了這句話,在很長的一段時間裏個人和普門品總不能相應。為什麽呢? 因爲個人覺得觀音菩薩不公平。有罪的人就應該被懲罰,而無罪的人才應該得到救護,為什麽這位菩薩善惡不分呢?只要稱他的名字,他就誰都救。這位菩薩是不是有聽自己名號的癮呢?所以就愛烏及烏?為什麽世尊要那樣地讚賞這位菩薩呢?個人一直都想不明白。

I am a very foolish person. Because of the sentence said by the world honored one “If a person, whether guilty or not, who has been put in stocks or bound with chains calls out the name of Guanshiyin Bodhisattva, his fetters will break apart and he will immediately be freed.” For a long time, I could not fully accept the universal doors chapter. Why? Because I feel the Guanyin Bodhisattva is very unfair. If a person is guilty, then he should be punished. Only innocent people should be rescued. Why this Bodhisattva would like to save them all? Calling out his name, then he would save them all, does this Bodhisattva addict to hear his own name? Then why the world horned one praises him in this way? I could not understand that.

一天聼到一個很有意思的小故事,很有啟發性,說的是一位父親如何教導他二個打架的兒子。一天,父親看到他兩個兒子在打架。父親把兩個兒子叫過來,一個兒子就說了:“爸爸他不對,他還打我……。”父親眼睛一瞪:“你有理,那又怎麽樣?誰叫你們打架的? 都給我罰站!”兩個兒子就都只有乖乖地在那裏罰站。過了五分鐘,父親叫小兒子來,:“我知道今天這件事情你沒有錯。不要以爲爸爸老糊塗了,什麽都不知道了。那麽你知不知道,既然你沒錯,我為什麽還要罰你呢?”“爸爸,這樣比較好啊。”“不許拍爸爸馬屁!”“真的,爸爸,我記得上一次不知道為什麽我和哥哥打架,爸爸只處罰了哥哥,事後,我被哥哥打得好慘。”“那你為什麽不告我呢?”“不告還好,告了更慘。”“那你希望爸爸以後要怎麽辦呢?”“像這樣就好啊,反正站一會兒就沒事了……。”

One day I heard a very interesting story, very inspiring. It is talking about a father how to teach his two fighting boys. One day a father saw his two boys were fighting. He called them to come. One said:” Dad, that’s his fault, and he beat me.”  The father stared to the son:” You are right, then what. You are fighting so both of you should be punished. Go standing there.” These two boys had to stand. Five minutes later, the father called his younger son to come:” I know today you have no fault. Don’t think Dad is too old to tell the truth. Then do you know why you did not do anything wrong, I still punished you?” “Father, this is good.” “Don’t be flattery.” “No, I am not flattering, I recall last time when we fought, I did not know why at that time, you only punished elder brother, after that I was beat up by him badly.” “Why not tell me?” “It is better not tell you otherwise it would be even worse.” “Then what do you want me do?” “Just like this, standing there, then everything passed.”

過了一會兒,父親又把大兒子叫來,“今天的事是誰的錯?”“今天的事是我的錯。”“弟弟有錯嗎?”“弟弟沒錯。”“噢,看來你還知道。”“當然,善惡我還是能分別的。”“我還以爲你不知道呢。”“我心裏有數。”“那弟弟沒錯,我還罰弟弟,你知不知道原因呢?”“噢,那是爸爸給我面子。”“我為什麽要給你面子!?”“噢,那是爸爸要我以後好好照顧弟弟……。”

After a while, the father called his elder son to come,” Today, whose fault?” “That is my fault.” “Did your younger boy do anything wrong?” “No, he is innocent.” “It looks you know that well.” “Of course, that is obvious.” “Then do you know why I also punished your younger brother too?” “Oh, that is because Dad you do not want me lose-face.” “Why I do not want you lose face!” ” ~~Because you want me to take good care of him in the future.”

說老實話,對於我這麽一個愚痴的人而言,很難一下子理解那父子之間的對話。剛開始我還真是沒有聼懂他們在說什麽。不過覺得很有意思,但是,等我慢慢回味,卻覺得真是妙不可言。這位父親在處理他兒子的紛爭的時候,是以什麽為他的宗旨的呢?如果按正常的邏輯,善惡分明,只罰哥哥,不罰弟弟,那麽很有可能就會造成將來的兄弟反目,最終家庭破裂。而這位父親採用了看似不公平的方式,但最後卻得到了雙贏的結果。真是高人啊。兄弟間的對和錯對這位父親來講真的有那麽重要嗎?超越了對錯,這位父親想要傳達什麽信息給他的兒子們呢?

Being honest, as a foolish person, I could not get the points of the conversations between the father and his sons in the first place. I do not know what they are talking about. But I feel it is very interesting. However, the more I recollect it, the more meaningful I feel about it. It is so wonderful. What is the principle of the father when he is dealing with his boys’ conflicts? If we use the common logic method: the right is right and wrong is wrong. Punishing the elder brother only, and let go the younger one, then probably in the future these two boys would be true enemies, and the family would split. The father uses the method that looks unfair, but the result is win-win. Is the rightness and wrongness that important to the father? Transcending the rightness and wrongness, what is the father really wants to tell his boys?

有罪無罪對一位大菩薩而言真的很重要嗎?一個人,不論有罪無罪,當他從心裏誠心祈求哀救的時候,這種祈求有分別嗎?他是一個弱者,菩薩去救一個弱者,一個需要救護的人,不對嗎?任何人都有軟弱的時候,幫助他,救護他,讓他有機會以後可以將心比心以後不要再欺負弱者,讓他也學著去幫助其他衆生,讓所有的衆生都能和樂相處,是不是纔是菩薩真正的動機呢?超越了善惡,佛菩薩又在告訴我們什麽呢?

Guilty or not guilty is that important to a Bodhisattva? A person whether guilty or not, when he is sincerely praying for help, is this praying has any difference? He is weak, so the Bodhisattva saves him, saving a person wants to be saved, is that not right? Save him, help him and give him opportunity to help others is that not right? Transcending the discrimination of guilty or not, what do the Buddha and Bodhisattva really want to teach us?

我們總是站在自己的立場很武斷地認爲自己什麽都是對的,很習慣性的把事物分成兩面:對的錯的,善的惡的,好的壞的……。曾經富樓那彌多羅尼子尊者也問過世尊這樣的問題:”若地性遍,云何容水。水性周遍,火則不生。復云何明水火二性俱遍虛空,不相陵滅。世尊。地性障礙,空性虛通,云何二俱周遍法界。”

We always habitually distinguish everything in front of our eyes into two sides in our own position: right and wrong; wholesome and unwholesome; good and bad. Even Ven. Purna once asked World- honored one:” if the primary element earth extended everywhere throughout the Dharma-Realm, how could it coexist with water? And if the primary element water extended everywhere throughout the Dharma-Realm, the primary element fire could not come into being. How may we understand that primary elements water and fire can both pervade empty space without overcoming each other in mutual annihilation? World-Hornored one, the nature of the primary element earth is that it is solid, while the nature of the primary element space is that it is a transparent void. How could they both exist everywhere throughout the Dharma-Realm? I am not sure how I should understand the implications of this concept.”

那麽世尊又是怎麽回答他的呢?” 汝以色空相傾相奪於如來藏。而如來藏隨為色空。周遍法界。是故於中,風動空澄,日明雲暗,眾生迷悶,背覺合塵,故發塵勞,有世間相。我以妙明不滅不生合如來藏。而如來藏唯妙覺明圓照法界。是故於中,一為無量,無量為一。小中現大,大中現小。不動道場,遍十方界。身含十方無盡虛空。於一毛端現寶王剎。坐微塵裏轉大法輪。滅塵合覺,故發真如妙覺明性。”

Then what is the answer from World-honored one:”Purna, you mistakenly suppose that within the Matrix of the Thus-Come One, space and the primary element earth are mutually incompatible and cannot coexist. But within the Matrix of the Thus-Come One, space and the world of perceived objects are everywhere throughout the Dharma-Realm. Movement associated with wind, the stillness associated with space, the brightness associated with the sun, and the darkness associated with clouds are all present within the Matrix of the Thus-Come One. Beings, however, suffocated by their confusion, turn their backs on enlightenment and embrace this world of perceived objects. Amidst the stress of beings’ entanglement with perceived objects, the world of conditioned phenomena appears. With my wondrous, luminous understanding that neither comes into being nor ceases to be, I am identical to the Matrix of the Thus-Come One. The Matrix of the Thus-Come One is itself the wondrous, enlightened, luminous understanding, which illuminates the entire Dharma-Realm. Within it, therefore, the one is infinitely many and the infinitely many are one. The great appears within the small, just as the small appears within the great. I sit unmoving in this still place for awakening, and my Dharma-body extends everywhere and encompasses the infinity of space in all the directions. On the tip of a fine hair, magnificent Buddha-lands appear. Seated within each mote of dust, I turn the great wheel of the Dharma. Because I have freed myself from the world of perceived objects, I have become one with enlightenment. Therefore the suchness of reality manifests- the inherent nature that is wondrous, luminous and awake.”

一為無量,無量為一。小中現大,大中現小. 於一毛端現寶王剎。坐微塵裏轉大法輪。那是一種怎樣的境界?只能說這樣境界已經遠遠超出了我們的想像。那在佛菩薩的眼裏衆生又究竟是什麽呢?佛菩薩對衆生所說的話又究竟是什麽意思呢?分析經典,研究經典的我們是不是在用所知心,測度如來無上菩提,用世語言入佛知見呢?究竟應該用一種怎樣的心態去分析,研究經典呢?還有很多很多的不明白……。

The one is infinitely many and the infinitely many are one. The great appears within the small, just as the small appears within the great. On the tip of a fine hair, magnificent Buddha-lands appear. Seated within each mote of dust, I turn the great wheel of the Dharma. What kind of state is that? What we can say is: that is really beyond our imagination. What are the real forms of beings that appearing in front of the eyes of Buddas and Bodisattvas? What are the true meanings of the words that the Buddhas and Boddisattvas spoke to us?  Analyzing and investigating the sutras, how then with our conscious minds possibly fathom the supreme awakening of the Thus-Come Ones? How could we gain the Buddha’s ability to know and to see merely by using the world’s words? I really do not know, I am totally confused…

慢慢地開始了解,眼前的世界,並非就像它所呈現的那樣單純。而自己也絕非自己想像的那樣的有智慧。有一位老師曾經問過我們,以後等你們成了比丘尼,成爲了一個真正的出家人之後,你想做一個怎樣的出家人呢?個人的回答是:“出家,是我一生中最明智的決定。我希望等我死的時候,我能夠無悔的對自己說:”我沒有辜負我自己。”真的希望當蓮花開的時候,世尊微笑的望著我說:“還好嗎?”我也能微笑的對世尊說:“ Everything is OK.”

Slowly, slowly, I become to understand that the world is not that simple as it is showing. And My stupidities are much more that I thought. Once, a teacher asked all of the novice nuns: what kind of monastic do you want to be, when you receive the full precepts. My answer is leaving home is the wisest decision I ever have made. And I hope at the end of my life I could proudly speak to myself:” I have no regrets in my life.” I really hope when, the lotus flower blooming, World-Honored One smiling to me, saying” How are you.” I am also smiling to him, saying:” Everything is OK.”

修行不容易,時時是考驗。就像上人講的“一切是考驗,看爾怎麽辦?對境若不識,須再從頭鍊。”很感謝這些年來大家給個人很多很多練習的機會,幫助個人在修行中能夠不斷地修正自己,提高自己。聖城是個很妙的地方。曾經看過一本書,裏面有一句很有意思的話:“如果,你愛一個人,讓他去紐約,因爲那是天堂;如果你恨一個人,讓他去紐約,因爲那是地獄。”那把這句話,稍微改動一下:“如果你覺得自己的修行很差,請來聖城,因爲這裡你可以重獲自信;如果你覺得自己的修行很好,請來聖城,因爲這裡才有真正的考驗。”希望大家能排除萬難,共入蓮邦。

Cultivating is very difficult. Just like the Ven. Master said:” Everything is a test to see what you are going to do. If not recognize it, then you have to start anew.” I appreciate all of you, for so many years, you have been giving me many chances to practice, to correct and to refine my cultivation. CTTB is a very wonderful place. Once I read a very interesting sentence:” if you love someone, send him toNew York, because that is heaven; if you hate someone, send him toNew York, because that is hell.” So I would like to modify it a little bit:” if you think you are a bad cultivator, please come to CTTB, because you can regain your confidence here; if you think you are a good cultivator, please come to CTTB, because here you will know what true test is.” I hope everyone could get rid of all the difficulties and get rebirth into the pure land.

Amitabha.

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